


You Let Me Stand

by hunters_retreat



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta Dynamics, Animalistic Tendencies, M/M, Past Abuse, past reference to attempted non-con, reference to dub-con due to heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years ago Jensen Ackles had been a feral beta, caged and dangerous to anyone around him. Three years ago the council sent Jared Padalecki and his team into the Two Forks pack to find out the truth about the claims of beta abuse and neglect. What Jared found was a vicious fight to take the pack away from the Alpha and mated to the feral Pack Beta. </p><p>Jensen was sent away to heal but Jared stayed behind to clean out the pack and see if it was worth saving.  After three years though, Jensen is ready to go home and confront his past.  Jared is hesitant but after their reunion at a Beta Right’s conference, he agrees.  It isn’t a smooth journey though and not everyone is happy to have Jared as the Alpha of the Two Rivers Pack.  When outside forces try to tear their fragile pack apart, will they be strong enough to stand together?  Or will Jared and Jensen fall apart, and take the Two Forks Pack with them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Let Me Stand

**Author's Note:**

> Please take note of the warnings. Also, rating mature is for the content and not actual sex.

_His head was down, his hair lank and long as it covered his face from the rest of them.  His suitors, his father called him.  Jensen didn’t remember much anymore that wasn’t the cage, but father’s words always remained in his head.  Jensen remembered, and he refused every one of them._

_Someone banged against the door of the cage but Jensen paid it no heed.  He wasn’t in heat and no one would unlock the cage tonight.  Sometimes the others came to mark him with their seed, hope that if they covered him in enough of their own scent that he'd give in to them when the cage opened next.  It made Jensen more ferocious when he left the cage, more determined to never let them have him._

_He didn’t remember why it was so important to fight anymore, but that was all he had left._

_Men yelled and Jensen set his body against the back corner of the cage.  With his hair down no one could see him but he could see clear enough.  His suitors circled him but not a one of them looked at him.  He could hear trouble from the main street but it had been a long time since he’d walked the street himself.  Months?  Years?  He couldn’t remember.  Time was hard in a cage.  Harder when he couldn’t always count on food each day and water was stored for him in big barrels from rainfall._

_Six strips of cloth tied to the back wall of the cage were as close to time as he could tell.  When his mother had been alive, she’d given him new clothes before they put him back in the cage.  Six heats he’d been through before she died.  He didn’t know how long it had been._

_The shouts came closer and Jensen could feel the tension in the men around him.  They weren’t all his suitors, but they were his father’s best fighters.  Even if not a one of them could best Jensen.  Not a one had found a way to take him in his heat._

_They never would._

_“What the hell is this?”_

_Jensen couldn’t help but look as a stranger turned the corner to find him in his cage behind his mother’s house.  Jensen growled at the appearance of a strange alpha._

_“What are you doing to that man?”_

_It was the last word spoken before the fight began.  Seven against one should have been too much but the alpha was strong and he was vicious.  He didn’t kill, but he maimed and Jensen’s suitors gave him a wide berth instead of attack in numbers.  When another strange alpha joined him, the suitors fled and Jensen was left alone with strangers._

_The first approached the cage and Jensen watched him with fascination.  He was strong and fast and he approached Jensen’s cage with caution._

_“Jesus, Jared,” the second alpha said from behind him.  “What the hell did we walk into?”_

_The alpha stooped down to look into the cage.   “I’m Jared.  What’s your name?”_

_No one ever bothered to look Jensen in the eye and it was disconcerting.  He wanted to belly up, but he refused.  All he had was the fight.  Instead, he growled to let the alpha know that he wasn’t for the taking.  Not even to someone like him._

_“I’ll be back, with the key,” the alpha said before he stood and turned to look at the other man.  “I want our people guarding him until we can get him out.  Our people, and keep them back. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”_

_“We won’t hurt him, Jared,” the second alpha said._

_“I’m more worried about what he’ll do to us, Chris,” the first said.  “He’s damn near feral. Get our people here and get someone to help the wounded too.”_

_The alpha looked back at Jensen again and his face was grim.  “And find me the damn Alpha.”_

Jensen woke with a start.  His heart raced and his breath was shallow.  It wasn’t the first time he’d had this nightmare.  It wouldn’t be his last, he knew.  It was, thankfully, just a nightmare though.

He threw back the covers and got out of bed to pad across the room to the small kitchenette in his hotel room.  He poured a glass of water from the nearly melted ice he’d grabbed earlier.  His nightmares happened frequently enough that he was prepared for them. 

The memories usually haunted Jensen when he was at conferences for the Beta Rights movement.  Going in front of a room of strangers to talk about the abuse he’d been through always brought the nightmares out in full force.

It was a worthy cause, and the people who fought it had saved Jensen in more ways than he could count.  A little lost sleep was a small price to pay for that. 

He drained the water but it did little to quench his thirst.  It was memory that made him ache though so nothing would really help.  Jensen set the cup aside and walked to the window.  He opened the curtains and stared out into the city lights.

He let the sight calm him before he walked back to his bedside and picked up his cell phone.  He typed in a quick text and waited.

The phone rang and Jensen picked it up before the first ring ended.

“The cage,” he said quietly.

“Yeah.  You thought that would be the one,” Chris said on the other line of the phone. 

“You getting any sleep tonight?”

“Didn’t plan on it.”

“Then get your alpha ass over here and keep me company.  If I’m going to be dragging tomorrow I expect you to look like hell with me.”

Chris laughed and Jensen felt himself relax with it.  There was a brief pause and Jensen knew what Chris was going to say.

“You don’t have to meet with him tomorrow, Jensen.  It’s been three years, but if you aren’t ready, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know.  I want to see him again.  You know I do.  All the times I’ve talked on the phone with him, the texts and the stupid things he sends, I like him.  I just … this was always going to bring up bad memories.  Three years or thirty.  I’m okay.”

“Alright.  Be there in a few.”

Jensen hung up and threw his phone on the bed to wait.  Chris wasn’t the alpha he was worried about.  It took three years to get Jensen from feral to walking, talking, person again, but tomorrow was the first time he’d see his Alpha since he’d sent him away from a broken pack to try to heal them all. 

Tomorrow, he’d see Alpha Padalecki again.  The alpha who had exiled the father.  The alpha who had claimed him and saved the Two Forks Pack.   His mate. 

Nothing to be worried about at all. 

 

 

 

 

The room was large enough to hold 500 people and it was packed tight.  Jensen was proud of the movement, proud of the people he’d found himself aligned with, but his focus was entirely on the stage at the front of the room. 

If he looked, he knew the carpets were an elegant scroll pattern that worked in shades of brown and burgundy over a beige backdrop.  He knew the chairs were a matching beige.  He knew the stage in front of him stood three feet off the floor and that it had taken them four hours to get their audio equipment set up last night.  None of that registered now.

They had agreed to meet in two hours, when Jared had finished the last panel of the day.  His panel was one of the highlights of the conference for most people in the movement.  Jared had a way of telling the story of battered betas and tormented packs that made people want to help and he had great instincts when it came to finding the right people to step into different positions.  Jensen had watched every one of his conferences on video.  It wasn’t the same as being with Jared, but it was something, to be able to see him. 

Jensen had come to know the gentleness of his voice over the phone, his goofy side, his caring and compassionate side.  On stage, he saw Jared’s clumsiness and his humor.  The way he held his body so as to be less threatening than his alpha status and height made him by nature. 

Nothing prepared him for this.

Jensen told himself that it was his feral mind that had made Jared seem so large, that had made his presence so immense.  He had told himself that it was the circumstances and the way Jensen had spent years cowering in a cage or fighting to keep anyone from claiming him.  It was all a lie.  It was just Jared.

It wasn’t intimidating, though.  It didn’t make Jensen afraid of Jared.  He might have nightmares about what happened after they opened the cage, but nothing about Jared’s presence made Jensen feel anything but safe.

He had only meant to sneak a peek at his alpha as he passed the conference room, but without thought, Jensen found himself halfway down the aisle.

His best friend was on the stage, along with Jared and Alpha Sam Ferris.  Jensen had been taken under Sam’s wing when he’d first wanted to join the conference circuit and share his story with people.  He saw her smile as she caught sight of him. 

Jared’s eyes were trained on Chris as he spoke, his body relaxed as he leaned back on the chair, one arm up across the back of the chair beside him and one ankle rested on his knee.  He had a beard, which Jensen had never seen on him before, but he appreciated the sight of.  He was dressed casually with jeans and a black button show shirt but even in front of a large crowd, he looked at home.  

As Sam tapped on Jared’s knee, Jensen saw Jared sniff the air lightly.  He watched the way Jared sat up straight and his eyes began to search the room.  Jensen stopped where he was, suddenly unable to move forward. 

Jared found him and the smile that bloomed on his face was beautiful.  Jared stood and quickly made his way to the edge of the stage.  He jumped down without hesitation and he closed the distance between them swiftly. 

He stopped a few feet from Jensen and all Jensen could think was that Jared was every bit as big as he’d remembered.  There were differences now though that he hadn’t been able to see before.  There was a tightness to his shoulders and worry lines had begun to crease his forehead.  He had black circles under his eyes and Jensen didn’t have to wonder if Jared had been suffering from nightmares the way Jensen was. 

Jared’s eyes searched Jensen’s face, as his hands came up to touch Jensen but he stopped just short.  He let his hands fall back, fingers clenching and unclenching like he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

“Jensen?”

Jensen felt the same himself.  “It’s okay,” he whispered. 

Jared raised his hand slowly to telegraph his movement in a way that made Jensen grateful and unbearably sad.  The last time they’d been together, Jensen had needed him too.  When Jared’s palm rested against his cheek, Jensen closed his eyes for a moment then opened them to look up at Jared’s blinding smile. 

“I should have waited,” Jensen said with a slightly hysterical edge to his laughter.

“I should have come earlier,” Jared answered.

“Now that you realize that, you two mind finding a room so I can stop getting distracted and have my say?” Kane asked beside them. 

Jensen hadn’t realized his friend had come away from the stage.  Chris was doing what he did best though; he took care of his people and for Jensen that meant keeping him from making a very public display out of his reunion with his alpha. 

Jensen had faced off against a lot of press about his first meeting with Jared and he’d refused to let it become some sort of public circus.  Jensen’s abuse had been horrific but the fact that Jared had sent him away from his pack for treatment made them a human interest story the press was dying to exploit.  No one could recall a case where an alpha had sent a sick member of their pack away from the pack for care.  Pack ties kept each other safe and helped in the healing process, but Jensen’s pack hadn’t been in any position to heal him when they were all so broken.  His father had seen to that.

 After a few weeks as the Alpha of the Two Forks Pack, Jared had started a manhunt for the people responsible for the breakdown of the pack and he’d sent Jensen away until he was done. 

Three years and Jared still hadn’t called him home.  Jensen was done with the wait though.  Jensen needed to be with his alpha to show him that he was healing.  He needed Jared to see it so he would agree to let Jensen go home. 

“My room is this way,” Jensen said as he finally found his voice. 

“Is that okay?” Jared’s thumb rubbed comfortingly over Jensen’s neck.

Jensen nodded.  Jared was trying to protect him but what Jensen really wanted was for the alpha to get past the need to coddle and realize that Jensen really was okay.  He’d discussed this meeting with his therapist.  He’d talked to his support group.  He’d even talked to the alphas who worked with him on the Beta Rights programs.  Jensen didn’t flinch anymore when someone moved too fast and he didn’t feel the need to back into a corner whenever an alpha came close.  He was as healed as he could be without going back to get the closure he needed from his pack.  Jared was a part of that.

He took Jared’s hand in his own then and pulled Jared out of the room, towards the hallway where the bank of elevators waited.  He hit the up button and waited it out, trying not to fidget and give Jared the wrong idea.  Yes, Jensen was nervous about this meeting.  This was his Alpha, not just his pack Alpha but his mate and he couldn’t help but be nervous. 

He let out a deep breath, thought about Kane in the other room, his tacit approval of Jared as he told them to leave, and he knew it was going to be alright.  Jared had proven himself beyond reproach over the years and Jensen let that surety fill him now. 

When the elevator opened, he pulled Jared in behind him and pushed the button for his floor.  The door closed and they were alone but Jensen couldn’t help but stay still.  He watched the numbers light up instead of turn to his mate.

A light chuckle came from behind him as Jared shifted closer.  He breathed a sigh against Jensen’s ear and Jensen shuddered.  When the doors opened, Jensen let out a nervous laugh as he pulled them down the hall to where his room was.  He pulled his card key out but his hands shook and he was having a hell of a time getting the card in the slot.    

A hand reached over to steady his and Jared was there, cupping his cheek with the other hand.  “Shhhh, it’s just me.”

“Just you,” Jensen said but he laughed and it wasn’t just the anxiety this time.  “Like that’s supposed to make me less nervous.” 

The door opened then and Jensen took a second to smile up at Jared before he walked in.  The alpha was a few steps behind him, obviously trying not to crowd him but as Jensen turned to look at him, Jared wasn’t checking out the room.  He was looking at Jensen.  Watching.  Waiting.

“Damn it, Jared.  I agreed to meet with you today and I just brought you back to my room.  You don’t have to stand halfway across the room from me.”

Jared’s smile broke out again at Jensen’s annoyance and Jared closed the distance between them, laughter on his lips as he pulled Jensen into his arms. 

He was strong, so much stronger than anyone who had ever tried to hold Jensen down, but Jensen knew he was safe there.  He didn’t hesitate to return the embrace; just rested his head against his Alpha’s chest, took in his scent, and let the sound of his heartbeat calm him. 

When Jared pulled back it was just far enough that he could look down at Jensen.  “You’re beautiful,” Jared said softly.  “I knew that back when I met you, even under the filth and fury, but it’s not just your face.  Now,” Jared took a step back then as he gave Jensen a crooked smile.  “I can smell the confidence rolling off you Jensen.  I heard it, was fucking yearning for it for years as you started to gain some self-esteem, but seeing you?  It makes me want to belly up, Jensen.”

Jensen laughed.  “You do know that Beta Rights isn’t about who bellies up, but about the fact that no one should have to, right?”

Jared shook his head.  “Not trying to sweet talk you, Beta.  I just … it’s hard to remember who you were when I see you standing here like this now.”

Jensen nodded as he returned back into Jared’s embrace.  He hoped that was true because in the end, he had to go home and the last thing he wanted to do was return to a pack that could only see him for the cage he’d once been held in.

 

 

It took an hour before Jensen felt the tension finally leave.  They were on the couch and Jensen was practically in Jared’s lap but it felt like the most comfortable thing in the world.  They hadn’t talked really, not much beyond their initial greeting but Jensen was okay with that too.  He needed to feel this, to feel the connection to his Alpha that has been denied him for too long. 

When Jensen sat back and stared at Jared, he couldn’t think of a thing to say.  They’d talked so many times over the phone but now that they were alone it was hard to think of words.  Jensen just wanted to stay in his arms.   He was safe there, but Jensen knew the problem with those sort of thoughts so he sat up and pushed himself away.  He took a deep breath and tried to say what he needed Jared to hear. 

“Um…”

“Eloquent as always,” Jared teased.

“Ass,” Jensen called back at him.  “We should probably get food, right?  That was the plan, wasn’t it?”

“We can go out.  I still have reservations at Enchanted, but to be honest I’d be as happy getting take-out or room service.”

“Room service it is.”

They made quick work of the menu and called down their order. 

“You don’t have to be nervous, Jensen,” Jared said as he took a seat on the couch again.  “I’m not trying to push here.  You know that.  You said you were ready to meet again.  Everyone says we’re ready to meet again.  Are you sure though?  Over the phone you were, but you seem …  “

“What?”

“Scared?  It’s not quite right but I can’t put my finger on just what it is.  I can taste it on the back of my tongue though and my hackles are raised at the thought that I’m making you this uncomfortable.”

“You are, but that’s not anything you’ve done.  I feel safe with you but I know I can’t let myself fall into the trap of thinking you’ll keep me safe.  I’m strong and I have to be strong for myself.”

“And me being here?”

“Feels amazing and I want you here.  I just may need to step away a few times to make sure I don’t start habits that I can’t afford.”

Jared just nodded his head.  “Anything you need, Jensen.  You know I’ll do anything I can.”

“I do.  I … will you stay with me tonight?”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

“I do,” Jensen said before Jared could say anything else.  “I’m not asking you to claim me or anything like that.  I’d just like to have you here.  With me.  I … I’m tired of the separation.”

He thought Jared might fight him on it but then Jared let out a deep breath and his smile was tired but honest.  “I am too.”

“Then you’ll stay?”

“Yeah.  I will.”

 

 

 

_Jensen’s father had been exiled two days ago and Jensen’s cage had been unlocked the same day but he’d stayed in the cage, safe.   Jared, the new alpha, spent two days on the floor just outside of the cage to get Jensen to come out.  Jensen wasn’t in heat though and he was never taken out unless he was sick or in heat.  Any other time meant punishment.  The cage was safe._

_Jared had coaxed him out slowly though with his easy smile and his quiet voice.  He shared his water and food with Jensen and never demanded anything of him.  Jensen could speak but it had been a long time since he’d said much, an even longer time since anyone had listened.  His throat grew sore after a few words but Jared just listened and smiled sadly when Jensen would stammer something out._

_He brought warm washcloths for Jensen to clean himself in the cage and he brought fresh clothes.  He didn’t stop Jensen from tearing a strip of cloth from his old shirt and tying it to the cage, even if he didn’t understand why Jensen wanted it.  He brought things Jensen barely remembered how to use, like toothbrush and paste, or a hair brush.  The hair brush proved useless against Jensen’s long, matted hair but Jared promised they’d take care of it when Jensen felt safe enough._

_Jared periodically asked Jensen if he wanted to come out of the cage but he never pushed.  In the early light of the third day, Jared had greeted Jensen and asked if he wanted to talk outside of the cage and he’d let himself be pulled from the cage._

_Jensen kept his distance from the alpha but he sniffed around the house until he found the others.  The other alpha was there and Jensen growled at the man as he put his back to the wall._

_“Jensen, no, he’s a friend.”_

_He was a threat.  Jensen knew that.  He didn’t trust alphas, only Jared.  He suddenly wanted back in his cage but the other alpha had backed away and stood between Jensen and his cage._

_He growled again and was met with an answering growl from Jared.  Jensen slid further away from the others.  He wanted to whimper at the sound of the Alpha’s growl but he was backed against the stairs of the house.  He didn’t want to go in the house.  It was the place his mother had cared for him, but he had also been put in the house when his heats had come.   Jensen had spilled blood on that floor, thrown anything he could find, and done everything he had to do to keep his suitors from claiming him.  He didn’t want to go into that house._

_“Jared.”_

_The other alpha stepped closer and Jensen was caught between his need to break free and run away and his need to fight._

_“Back off Chris.  I’ll get him inside.  It’ll be better than the cage.”_

_Jensen snarled because the Alpha meant to lock him in the house, to let his suitors have their chance again.  They weren’t there yet, but they would be soon.  That was the only reason to force him into the house._

_“Jensen, let’s just go inside and talk,” the Alpha said with his soothing tone.  It did nothing to sooth this time though.  The other alpha watched them and Jensen wondered if he would join the suitors.  Would the strange alpha try to claim him as well._

_Jensen lunged at the other alpha to show him exactly what he thought of that but the Alpha stepped between them and forced Jensen back.  He stumbled as he fell and hit the bottom of the stairs.  He couldn’t stay down so he scrambled up the stairs to the front porch.  Jensen crouched lower to guard his body but the Alpha came forward anyway._

_He fought to get Jensen into the house and Jensen’s fingers turned into claws the way only an alpha should be able to do, and he fought for the only thing they hadn’t taken from him yet._

 

Jensen scrambled out of bed before he was fully awake.  He was disoriented and he found the door and put his back to the corner as he took a deep breath to try to figure out where he was.  It took a minute, but as he pushed aside the nightmare he recognized the hotel room from the conference.  He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat as he looked across the room at Jared, eyes wide but awake, as he stared at Jensen’s retreat.

“I’m okay,” Jensen said as he let out a deep breath. 

“Not really,” Jared said into the dark of the room.  “I don’t expect you to be though.  You’re here with me now though, right?”

Jensen nodded as he walked back to the bed.  It wasn’t the first time Jensen had woken Jared up because of his nightmares, it was just the first time he’d woken him in person instead of with a 3AM phone call. 

“Can I tell you how much I hate that you always know what to say when I’m out of my mind?” Jensen asked as he sat at the edge of the bed.

Jared laughed softly.  “Maybe it’s hardwired into my brain, how to say the right thing to my beta, because I usually always say the wrong thing.  I have Chris and Katie to sweet talk everyone for me.”

“Chris has his moments, but Katie is way too straightforward to sweet talk anyone.  I hate to tell you, but it’s just who you are.”

“Sorry,” Jared said with a shrug.  “I grew up with this, you know.    It’s not that I’m trying to be someone I’m not.  I just grew up with a lot of people that had been hurt and by the people that wanted to support them.  It rubbed off on me.”

“Just a little,” Jensen said as he let out a deep breath and lay back down. 

Jared lay down next to him and turned onto his side so he could look down at Jensen.  “You want to talk about it?”

“Lived it.  So did you.  I’d be happy to never talk about it ever again,” Jensen answered honestly.

“Oh.  That one.”

Jensen let out a short huff.  “Yeah.  It’s the panel tomorrow.  You know it always brings out the nightmares.”

“I know.  You don’t have to do it, you know?  You can back out of the panel tomorrow.”

Jensen sighed.  “I know you want me to, but I can’t.” 

Three years ago, Jared had been sent into the Two Forks Valley because of an anonymous call to the council.  The council had sent Jared and his unit in to see if there was anything to the accusation of abuse.  Somehow, Jared had ended up fighting for control of the pack.  It had taken a year before he’d determined that the pack could be saved and he’d claimed it permanently. 

His claim on Jensen had never wavered though. 

“Remind me again, why Chris gets to sit in this meeting with you and I don’t?”

Jensen took advantage of Jared’s position and pushed the alpha on his back.  He rested his head on Jared’s shoulder and let out a deep breath.  He could get through this conversation, but he didn’t want to have to look at Jared. 

 “Because I don’t have to worry about Kane stopping midsentence to touch me,” Jensen teased. 

“And…” Jared pushed a little, but Jensen knew it was because the alpha understood there was something far more serious in his refusal to let Jared be a part of the panel.  It had been brought up more than once, by more than one person. 

It made sense for Jensen and Jared to share their experiences.  Jared’s unit with the Beta Rights movement was well known for their success rate in rehabilitating abusive packs and abused pack members.  They had years of experience and had seen far more than Jensen ever wanted to.  It was why one of Jared’s unit was on the panel.  Jensen had just never been able to voice to Jared why he’d told everyone involved that he wouldn’t be a part of the panel if Jared was.

Jared had been a part of the Beta Rights movement his entire life though and Jared deserved a real answer.  Jared’s father had been abused by his own father because he was a beta, and Jared’s mother, an alpha of remarkable character, had joined the movement after she met him.  Jared hadn’t been kidding when he said he’d been raised in the middle of it all.  If it had been anyone else to find the Two Forks, it would have been disbanded.  Jared was stubborn though and he’d fought tooth and nail to get the pack through.  He deserved to know why Jensen didn’t want to share a stage with him to talk about it, to show his gratitude for it.

“Because I don’t have to worry about hurting Kane’s feelings if I talk about things that could have gone better or that didn’t work.  I don’t have to worry about confessing to how fucked up I was before you set me free from that cage.”

“You could tell me, you know?  It’s not like I’m not aware of the facts, Jensen.”

“I know,” Jensen said as he let his hand trail down Jared’s arm.  “And I have as we’ve talked about things.  That doesn’t mean different things won’t come up in the session and I don’t want what happened between us to be put center stage for everyone to see.  What happened with us wasn’t ideal and we both know how fucked up it was, but it got us here and I can’t be anything but grateful for that.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that, but you tell Kane that if he gets too up close and personal I’m gonna kick his ass.”

“Save your caveman talk for another beta because this one will kick ass on his own.”

Jensen looked up to see Jared’s grin at the familiar banter, and the fear and pain of the nightmare finally dissipated and he was able to find sleep once again. 

 

 

 

“The problem with what you’re saying is that we all know your story was media propaganda to set the Beta Rights Movement forward; from Alpha Padalecki’s involvement to the way you’ve been carefully sheltered away from the pack and the media since then.  The footage of a feral beta was staged-“

Security was there already and Jensen let out a deep breath.  It wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before.  The Pro-Nature reaction to the Beta Rights Movement wasn’t without its fanatics and this wasn’t the first time someone has come into a panel Jensen was a part of and made disparaging remarks about the authenticity of his all too public abuse.  That his story was so well documented was all because of Jared’s need to make sure it was well handled in the beginning – and yes that was because of his own background in the Beta Rights Movement – but every time it happened Jensen felt a small part of himself want to step back, to find the corner of his cage and hide from any alpha’s accusations.

“It isn’t real!”  The alpha yelled as he, along with the two people who had arrived with him, was escorted from the hall. 

Jensen felt another alpha at his back and he stepped slightly to the side, tilting his head to warn Chris off.  As comfortable as he was with Chris, there were moments when their initial meeting still caused Jensen trouble with Chris’s proximity.  There was only one alpha he was comfortable enough to let into his space at the moment and he wasn’t in the room.

“Well that’s horseshit,” another person in the audience stood to take a turn to talk.  Jensen tensed as his eyes followed the familiar voice to look at the speaker.  It’d had been years since he’d seen him, years before he’d been freed from his cage even, and he had no idea what to say.  Or what was about to be said. 

“I wasn’t there at the end.  Hell, the Alpha,” and the word alpha was spoken with more disgust than Jensen had ever heard before, “removed me from the pack for taking an issue with it.  What I can say was that Alpha Padalecki couldn’t have come soon enough.  The moment a beta was treated as something inferior the whole pack began to suffer.  No one was safe in that pack, no one above reproach and no one was safe from the Alpha’s fury.  I’m just sorry that it took so long for someone to find a way into pack lands to see what was really happening there. ”

Jensen nodded his thanks.  “I remember you, Elder Beaver.  My father, the former Alpha, removed you before the cage became more than a punishment.”  Jensen smiled because not everyone in his pack had been evil and it was good to remember that.  “You used to sneak food to me when he forbid it and you took me in when I was afraid to go home.  You told me stories about what a real pack should be like, how they should treat unmated betas.  It was your stories that kept some small part of me sane,” Jensen gave a small smile then, “if any part of me was sane.” 

“I’m just sorry I didn’t do anything more.”

Jensen didn’t try to say anything else to placate the older alpha.  He’d been an Elder of the pack and it just proved the point that the Beta Rights Movement was trying to make.  Turning betas into scapegoats and second class citizens hurt the entire pack, not just the betas that were victimized.

“Pack integrity,” Jensen said as he motioned Chris back to his seat “is key to helping any beta recover from abuse.  What happened in my pack was extreme.  In most cases, the entire pack does not neglect their betas.  If it does, the circumstances might make it necessary to remove a beta from the pack to allow a recovery period.  This isn’t what we see most of the time though.  What we’ve seen time and time again was that these alphas are very good at hiding their misbehavior and their betas are even better.  We need to make sure that we are reaching out to our young pack members and educating them about what the proper role of alpha and beta dynamics are.”

“So how does an abused beta trust an alpha after that?” Another speaker asked.  “Is it even possible for a pack to come back from gross abuse or do they warrant disbanding from the Council?”

Jensen shrugged on that one.  “I don’t know that I can answer either of those for you.  Can a beta come back from it?  Yes, I’m sitting here talking in a room with alphas.  My best friend is an alpha.  Yes, I can trust other alphas, but it isn’t easy and I was given a lot of respect and leeway by the alphas in my life.  As for a pack, I have no idea.  I haven’t been back to my pack for three years.  My Alpha has tried to clean up the mess that the previous Alpha left behind, but I don’t know how successful he’s been.  We’ve been in contact while he’s worked with them and I think the work that Jared has done is miraculous, but can his faith in the remaining pack be enough to pull us all together again?  Only time will tell.”

“Then you have plans to go back to your pack and to your Alpha?” Another speaker asked. 

Jensen looked over at Chris, unsure if he should answer the question.  He’d been honest about everything else though and that was the point of the whole thing.  If he couldn’t be honest about his experiences and his hopes for the future then he might as well be holed up in a room like he had been, too afraid to leave because of the alphas in the world.  Speaking about who he was and what had happened to him gave him the strength to face the world and become the man he was.

“Yes, I will return to my pack.  I never turned my back on my Alpha though, no matter what some of the news has reported.  Alpha Padalecki tried to help me after he took the pack but I couldn’t heal there and Jared was needed there if there was any hope the pack could survive.  Jared and I haven’t been out of contact, just physical proximity.  He was still the Alpha of my pack and I am his Beta, no matter how messed up the pack and I are.”

There was a murmur in the crowd at that but Jensen expected no less.  He and Jared had set a number of precedents when Jared took over the pack.  Jared had taken most of the problems on his shoulders when Jensen was too focused on himself to notice it.   The fact that Jensen had gone into heat almost as soon as he left his cage hadn’t done either of them any favors.

It took Jared a year to decide the pack could be saved and then he’d files a permanent pack change with the Council and claimed the Two Forks Pack his own.  The legal battles surrounding Jared’s right to claim the pack had been fierce.  Some of the older alphas in the pack had led the charge to say that defeating the former Alpha hadn’t been enough to become the Alpha.  Some said his claim of Jensen as his Pack Beta were fabricated by the movement. 

Jared was loyal and devoted and caring and too damn understanding, and that was what people say from his public persona.  But Jared was also the alpha the movement threw into their worst fights.  He wasn’t a pushover and he didn’t let anyone push him around.  He fought to keep the pack and he did most of it without Jensen being any the wiser for the larger scale of it until it was over with.  Jensen was grateful for all of it, even if he hadn’t understood it at the time.

“And when Jensen wasn’t in contact with him, Jared was constantly on the phone with me, making sure I was taking care of his beta,” Chris joined in with a smile.  “Strongest Alpha I ever met, sending his beta away to heal like that, but he never went a day without talking to one of us to make sure that Jensen had what he needed and that he was on the mend.  Jensen wasn’t the only beta in the pack that was abused and Jared had others that were nursed to health in similar fashion.  So long as his betas were out of his care, he continued to check up on all of them.

“We can talk until the cows come home about caretakers and who has what role, but the heart of the matter is that we should all take care of one another.  Alphas have retained more physical aspects of our forefathers, but that doesn’t mean we are them.  We don’t live in a time where one Alpha has absolute rule and the rest of the pack has to bow at his feet.  We live where there are multiple alphas and betas in every aspect of life, where people don’t even have those aspects anymore.  We are the throwbacks of an obsolete way of life.  And if we don’t change with the times, we will die out completely.”

There was grumbling in the audience but there always was when Chris said his peace.  Not everyone believed the alpha/beta segment of the population was on dying out but there were plenty of traditionalist packs that believed the mingling of bloodlines had produced weaker offspring.  Two Forks had been the most extreme case Jensen had ever heard of but it wasn’t the only one. 

“Our nature - be it alpha, beta, or neutral - does not dictate our place in society,” Chris finished.

“What should it dictate then?” someone in the crowd asked.

“Only what two people believe it should.  The role of alpha and beta is an antiquated bit of biology that no longer serves a purpose.  If two people get involved and want to fall into traditional alpha-beta dynamics then that is between them and only them, so long as neither abuses the position they are in.”

Chris raised his hands before anyone else could comment.  “The truth is as long as our packs play these games of alpha/beta power dynamics someone loses.  The reason our packs have leaders who are both Alpha and Beta is to make sure that pack is in balance and that all of its members are cared for.  So, as we said at the beginning of the panel, it is possible for an alpha to help a beta through their recovery from abuse, but it takes time, patience, and a lot of understanding.  These aren’t things we should take for granted in our packs.  We should look at each member to see that they are getting the care they deserve, regardless of station and power.”

“Thank you all for coming,” Jensen said as the doors behind them opened up to let people out.

“Warning, warning, derailing ahead,” Chris whispered into Jensen’s ear as he walked past. 

Jensen let out a laugh but he couldn’t help but admit that he was relieved the panel was over.  The topic of the panel was the hardest he had to mediate and it had the potential to push the most buttons for him.  Today’s crowd had been, thankfully, more interested in therapy histories and training techniques than in asking about Jensen’s personal recovery.  It wasn’t always that way and the few questions thrown out about going home to his pack had been unnerving.  It usually wasn’t but then again he wasn’t normally getting ready to convince his Alpha that it was time to return to the pack that had abused him. 

As much as Jensen feared it, he needed to go home.  Even if he tries and has to come back to Chris and the protection of the movement, Jensen had to try.  And the longer he waited the harder it would be to face.   He needed the three years to bed who he is now, but he’d been ready the last few months.  When Jared told him he was going to be part of the southwest Beta Rights Movement conference Jensen knew it was time, to return to his pack and to return to his Alpha.

“Lunch?” Jensen turned to ask Chris.

“Uh… think I’ll pass.  You have plans.”

“What?”

He followed Chris’s line of sight and couldn’t help the way his breath caught as he saw Jared where he stood against the door frame watching them.  Jared smiled when Jensen saw him and Jensen didn’t bother to say good bye to Chris.  They had plans to meet up later in the day anyway.    

“Jared?  What are you doing here?  Thought you were busy?”

“The alpha panel was a bust.”

“Not interesting?” Jensen asked as he closes the space between them and sat his hand on Jared’s arm.

“No, it actually was a bust.  Some Pro-Natures got into the panel and tried to cause trouble.  It isn’t really hard to start with a room full of alpha’s, but once we got them out of there it just seemed to click.  We were all there for a common cause and the ‘get to know you’ session was pretty laid back.  Met a couple of alphas who have refugees from our pack that are interested in returning home soon.  We’ll have to check them out, but I think the idea of networking alphas who share the same beliefs is working out pretty well.”  Jared leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Jensen’s lips.  “Glad you talked me into going to that one.”

“The panel was my idea.  Of course I was going to talk you into it.” 

Jared laughed, but he was watching Jensen closely as he spoke.  “Heard we weren’t the only ones with trouble.”

“Trouble would mean we couldn’t handle it and we could.  Just a couple snide comments but nothing I’m not used to.”

Jared sighed.  “I hate that you have to deal with that.”

“I know, but I’m done presenting today and I have two hours to kill before I have to be anywhere.  How about you?”

“Only place I need to be was with my Beta,” he grinned. 

Jensen wanted to call him on the sentimentality of that comment but he knew Jared and the alpha meant exactly what he’d said. 

 

 

Dinner was a quiet meal in a restaurant the hotel concierge recommended.  It had a romantic feel to it but wasn’t over the top, to Jensen’s relief.  Though, maybe if it had been romantic his next line of conservation might have been easier.

They talked as easily tonight as they had since they’d established their rapport long distance but they both kept the conversation light after a long day.  Jensen needed to talk to Jared about something more though. 

“So Beaver said he’d like to come home for a visit.  Seems he had a few friends he’d like to check up on that he’d left behind,” Jared said softly as his fingers trailed a soothing circle around the back of Jensen’s hand.   

“He’s a good man.  He was the Pack teacher for a long time.”

“He seems a little … gruff to teach.”

Jensen smiled.  “I have fond memories of his lessons from before he left.  You’ve talked about wanting to bring in a new teacher to help the one you appointed.  Jim could continue teaching and it would free Matt up to work with the ones who need more intense help.  Maybe Jim would settle some of the older pack members who have struggled with all the changes?  He’s an old timer who held a great deal of respect before he left.”

Jared shook his head.  “I’m not sure I can trust him.  Jensen, he knew what they were doing to you and he didn’t stop it.”

“No,” Jensen touched Jared’s cheek and forced the Alpha’s eyes to meet his.  “He knew the Alpha was putting me in a cage during my heat to ‘protect’ everyone from my ferocity.  It was before my father tried to force an alpha on me and left me in the cage permanently.  When he left I was just a sad kid with an asshole for a dad.”

Jensen took a deep breath then.  “I would feel easier going back if I knew he was there with me too.”

Jared inhaled sharply and Jensen knew his mate was surprised.  “Jensen-“

“I need to come home Jared.  I’m tired of being away.  I’ve spent more than three years out of the cage and almost all that time away from my pack.  I know you’ve cleaned up and I have faith in the work you’ve done.  I can never move on from this until I go home though.  I will never know what I can be if I don’t go back to that place and face my past.”  He caught Jared’s eyes again and smiled softly.  “You do want me there, right?”

“How can you ask me that?” Jared demanded.  “I’ve done all of this to make it a safe place for you to come home to. If it hadn’t been for you I’d have told the Council to dissolve the pack!”

“I know,” Jensen sighed.  “So then it’s time for me to come home.  I need to heal in my home.  I need to see the Pack and help them heal and I need to be with my Alpha.  I’m tired of lonely nights with a cold phone instead of a warm mate.”

“I … I’ll think about it, alright?”

Jensen wasn’t happy about it, but it was better than he’d expected.  Jared wouldn’t tell him no if Jensen truly wanted to go.  He wasn’t a traditionalist who believed a beta had to do what they’re told but the Council had given him control of the people who came into the Two Forks Pack until they were declared whole again.  He could make it harder for Jensen if he wanted.  That Jared hadn’t mentioned any of the numerous reasons Jensen shouldn’t want to go back was a credit to his Alpha’s faith in Jensen’s ability to do what he needed for himself.

When dinner ended they walked back to the hotel together hand in hand.  Jensen loved the way Jared casually wrapped their fingers together as they moved.  Even more, he loved the times that Jared held his arm out and waited patiently for Jensen to touch him; like Jensen was something precious to be loved and to be handled with care. 

Jared was laughing about the Pack now though.  One of Jared’s friends had come to live with the Pack when he’d started the clean-up and she had three cubs.  Jensen hadn’t met them yet but he looked forward to it.  Jensen has been in touch with Katie since she moved into the house Jensen had grown up in.  The Alpha Residence had been the place his father resided in but Jensen hadn’t moved into the big house with his mother.  Jared lived there now and Katie has taken Jensen’s former residence.  He doesn’t know if he could live there again, but the Alpha Residence only had memories of Jared for him.  His former Alpha never allowed Jensen to taint his halls by welcoming in a male beta heir. 

Katie was part of the Beta Rights Movement and a key member of Jared’s clean up team.  She was a counselor but also a strong beta who had a no nonsense sensibility to her that Jensen thought his Pack needed.  Their correspondence had started as emails about what she should do with the things that had been left in the home, then moved on to how Jensen remembered pack etiquette before it had all gotten fucked up, and then they’d worked on moving past the formal, archaic trappings of the Pack to talk about what Jensen thought a pack should run like.     

As they wait for the elevator, Jared watched him with a soft smile.  “Jensen, may I escort you back to your room?”  It was too formal considering he’d asked Jared stay the night before but that had been unplanned and unexpected.  Jensen knows he’s ready for this though and after too many conversations with therapist, friends and his Alpha, Jensen was ready to go with instinct.

“I was hoping we could stop by yours, pick up your stuff and you could just stay with me the rest of the conference.”

Jensen saw the way Jared wanted to ask if he was sure, but to his credit, Jared just searched Jensen’s eyes before he smiled.  “I’d love that.  After waking up with you this morning, I gotta admit I don’t want to wake without you ever again.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to let me come home soon, Alpha,” Jensen teased as the elevator doors opened and he steps inside.  “Going up?” He asked with a smile.

Jared sighed as he stepped in after Jensen.  “Yeah, for once, things are going up.”

 

 

There was tension between them as they went back to Jensen’s hotel room and he didn’t try to defuse it.  Not all tension was bad and Jensen knew that the long separation had been hell on both of them.  Chris could talk about the antiquated nature of alphas and betas, but it didn’t change the biological needs of those that still had the title of alpha and beta. 

The separation between a mated alpha and beta was never easy and as far as Jensen knew, no Pack Alpha had ever been separated from his Beta once the claim was made.  Jensen had spent years with no physical comforts and very few mental escapes but the separation had been difficult for him.  He couldn’t imagine the reality of it for Jared who wasn’t used to his basic needs being taken from him.  That he did it of his own volition, for Jensen, was a testament to his characters as an Alpha and a mate. 

It wasn’t just the fact that they were mates though.   Over the past three years, they’d been able to develop a great rapport long distance.  Now that they’d come to realize they could speak as easily in person it was even better. 

Jensen still worried about what would happen when they went home.  Not only would Jensen face the people and places of his abuse, but he and Jared would have to deal with the aftermath of their first mating when Jensen had still been feral.  He has faith they’d be able to deal with it though and he let that hopefulness buoy him on.

Jensen let Jared settle his things in the room as he went into the bathroom for his nightly rituals.  Routines calmed his nerves and he found himself speeding through to get back out to Jared.  He wanted to be with his Alpha, to fall asleep with him, to have the chance to bury his nose in the nape of his neck and just breathe him in, but what he wanted most was to show Jared that he was finally ready to renew the mating claim that they’d been denied during their long distance relationship.  Most mated pairs renewed the mating claim periodically to strengthen their bonds but this hadn’t been possible for them. 

More than that, Jensen wanted Jared to claim him when they both knew this was what they wanted, not just some biological imperative that had hit at the wrong time when they’d both been vulnerable. 

When he walked back out to the room, Jared was sitting on the bed, staring at his hands.  Jensen smiled at the nervous look Jared gave him as he walked in.  He wasn’t sure what Jared was nervous about, but Jensen had plenty of nerves to work through.  He had never felt more confident about what he wanted though.  The life he could have with Jared, the life he wanted with the pack he’d left behind, it was all there for the taking and he just had to have the strength to move forward.

Jared didn’t say anything as Jensen came up in front of him.  He didn’t even say anything when Jensen settled his thighs around Jared’s and sat in his lap, his arms draped over Jared’s shoulders.  He gripped Jensen’s hips lightly and leaned forward, to breathe the beta in.  Jensen closed his eyes at the intimacy of the gesture and he leaned in a little closer and wrapped his fingers in Jared’s hair. 

“Jensen?”

“Yes, Alpha?”

Jared let out a staggered breath before he stood, carefully dislodging Jensen from his lap before he moved to sit on the couch instead. 

“Jared?”

“What are you doing, Jensen?”

“Thought that was pretty obvious,” he said quietly.  He sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at his hands, suddenly unable to look at Jared. 

“This isn’t…  This isn’t the time, Jensen.”

“It’s been three years, Jared.  I’m tired of being alone.  I’m tired of knowing my mate is out there waiting for me.”

“Jensen, you know how much I want this.  I just … you want to go home.  You have no idea what you’re going to see when you get there.  What it will be like.  Some of the betas I sent away have come back and it was hard.  I don’t want to put that pressure on you.”

“You think having sex is going to make what I have to face any worse?”

“I think when we go home we’ll have to face what happened between us and I don’t want something like this to interfere with that.”

“Jared-”

“No.  Jensen, you were feral.  It was heat and I know neither of us was in our right minds but I can’t forget what happened.”

Jensen crossed over to sit on the floor in front of Jared and pulled Jared’s tee shirt up over his head.  Jared didn’t try to stop him and when Jensen pushed him back Jared leaned back against the couch.  It left the expanse of his muscular chest there for Jensen to touch but he was drawn to the four scars across Jared’s chest.      

When he spread his fingers out, they matched perfectly.  They should.  Jared had freed Jensen from his cage but Jensen had still been feral.  When Jensen felt he’d been threatened, he’d reacted badly and Jared had done what he needed to do to make sure Jensen didn’t hurt his pack.  He’d had no idea what it would mean to force Jensen into the house his father kept him caged behind.  And he had no idea that Jensen had, on some level, decided that Jared was the only alpha he could trust.  He’d gone into heat and attacked Jared at the same time.  It had pushed Jared’s alpha to the foremost and they’d both ended up bloody and damaged in the aftermath.  Jared was the one with the physical scars to show off for it though.

“I don’t blame you Jared.  I thank you.”

Jared pulled Jensen up into his lap and let out a deep breath as he pressed his nose into Jensen’s neck.  “I know.”

“You don’t.  The bond steadied me in ways nothing else would have back then.  I don’t think I could have healed at all if you hadn’t made your claim on me.”

Jared pulled back to look at Jensen.  “We’ll never know.  But Jensen, when I claim you again, there won’t be a question about healing or heat.  It will be because we both want it and we’re both ready for it.”

“I’m ready, Jared,” Jensen tried one more time.

Jared brought a hand up to cup Jensen’s face and let out a deep breath.  He leaned up and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s lips.  Jensen deepened the kiss but he knew it wouldn’t go any further than that.  Jared pulled away enough to press a kiss to Jensen’s temple then. 

“Maybe you are, but I’m not.”

 

 

 

It was far too bright in the hotel’s restaurant for Jensen’s mood but he took his coffee and plate and joined Jared anyway.  He could hear Jared’s laugh, subdued as it was after last night, and made his way to it. 

He smiled at Jared and the alpha smiled back and that settled his disposition a little.  He might not have gotten what he wanted last night, but it hadn’t been a rejection that Jared had offered him.  It had been a need for more time for Jared to heal his own wounds.

Jensen knew Jared had plenty from his time in Two Forks Valley.  He knew what Jared had been forced to do, but he had yet to see the full extent of it. 

When Jensen sat next to Jared, he recognized the older alpha sitting with him.  He was startled to see the man up close but he knew he shouldn’t be.  The man he remembered would have sought Jensen out eventually. 

“Elder Beaver,” he said in way of greeting.

“Jensen, good morning,” Jared interrupted with a quick kiss. 

Jensen gazed at him for a minute before pulling back and taking a seat next to Jared.

“Jared was just telling me that you plan to head back to the pack,” the elder said as he picked up his fork to start on a plate full of eggs, bacon, and toast.

Jensen smiled larger at Jared because the alpha hadn’t actually given his approval but if Jared was talking about it then he’d agreed.  When he looked at Jensen, Jared gave a slight nod of his head towards Elder Beaver and raised his brows in question. 

Jensen took a deep breath and nodded in response. 

“I am.  I’m still planning it, but I’d like to go back soon after the conference ends.  It would be good to see a kind face when I go.  Perhaps you would be interested in returning home?”

“I’m not sure there’s anything I could do that would help,” he answered quietly.

Jensen could see the conflict in the man.  He obviously had his own demons about the pack and Jensen didn’t want to ask the man to face them if he wasn’t ready.

“I don’t know what you would think of the offer, but I do need some help,” Jared stepped in quickly.  “We have a lot of new kids in the pack.  Some are from the original pack and some from the people I’ve brought in.  We have someone in the position of Pack Teacher, but he took the position for the short term.  He’s always worked in smaller settings and he’s more comfortable that way.  He’s done a great job, but we need an experienced Pack Teacher to work alongside him so he can help the kids who were hurt the most.  Jensen told me that you were the Pack Teacher for the Two Forks Pack when you lived there.  The position is yours if you’d like to return.”

“You’d trust me to do that?” Jim asked.

Jared leaned closer to the other man.  “I trust my Beta and he trusts you.  I’ll be honest and let you know now that when it comes to the Two Forks Pack, my trust is earned, not given freely.”

Jim’s eyes narrowed at the words and Jensen thought there was about to be trouble between the two alphas.  “Doesn’t seem to be your default setting,” Jim replied after a minute.

Jared sat back.  “No, it’s not.  The Two Forks taught me that.”

Jim nodded before he looked over at Jensen.  “I don’t know if I deserve the chance you’re offering me Jensen, but I want it.  I want to try to make things better for you.  I want to try to help the pack that I lost.”

Jensen didn’t know what to say but Jared stuck his arm out then and Jim clasped it.    “Welcome back to the Two Forks Pack, Elder Beaver.”

“Alpha,” Jim said with his head lowered. 

“I’ll let Matt know you’ll be coming home soon to help him get a handle on the kids.  He loves the work, but it’s a lot for one man, especially when so many of them need extra attention while the pack is in turmoil.”

“I hope I can prove my worth, Alpha.  And thank you Jensen, for thinking of me.”

“It’s not necessary, Jim,” Jensen answered.

“Maybe not, but it means a lot to know that my Pack Beta has faith in me after all this time.”

Jim bowed his head to Jensen then and Jensen watched, flustered, while the elder left their table.

“Jensen?” Jared’s voice held concern and Jensen let out a shaky breath.

“Yes?”

“What is it?”

“Pack Beta?”

“You’re the Alpha’s mate.  Did you miss that part somewhere along the line?” Jared teased.  It wasn’t as light hearted as it would have been the day before, or on the phone a week ago, but Jensen knew Jared was trying his best. 

“I just … I always knew I’d have to go back.  And I wanted to be your beta, but I guess I didn’t think anyone would think of me as the Pack Beta.  How could the pack possible see me as their Beta?  That’s what Katie has been.”

“Katie has never once taken the title of Pack Beta.  She has always made it clear that she was in touch with you and she was simply following your wishes on how to care for your pack while you were absent.” 

“Katie…”

“Is on my clean up team for a reason.  She’s a wonderful woman and a smart beta.  She’s strong and supportive and loyal as hell.  Without ever meeting you, with just a few emails, she’d decided she’d stay in Two Forks as long as she was needed to make sure you had someplace worth returning home to.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything to me.  You can talk to her about it when you meet her though.  I know she’s excited about the idea of you coming home.”

“I didn’t think you’d made up your mind about that,” Jensen commented.

Jared let out a deep sigh.  “I don’t know that I will ever be willing to see you go home, Jensen, but it’s not about what I will or won’t let you do.  If I thought you weren’t able to make that choice for yourself, that you were still too traumatized to do so, then I’d maybe take measures, but you aren’t.  You know what you want and you aren’t afraid to ask for it.  Even with last night, you didn’t back down from me.  You’re so damn strong and I love seeing that.  I just hope I can be what you need when we get home.”

Jensen took Jared’s hand in his own and smiled softly.  “You were what I needed three years ago when I was caged and feral.  You were what I needed two months later when I couldn’t heal and I couldn’t move past what had happened to me because I was constantly surrounded with it.  You were what I needed six months after that when nothing would calm me except the voice of my mate.  And you have been what I needed every other step of the way.  I don’t doubt that.  I just have to have far more patience with you than I thought I would,” he said with a smile.

Jared let out a small huff of laughter but it was real and good and Jensen leaned in for a chaste kiss before they had to go their separate ways for the next few hours.

 

 

 

Jensen wasn’t able to meet up with Jared at lunch so he grabbed something on the run and headed into the next convention room to wait for the panel.  He sat on the floor at the back to try to stay unnoticed.  It wasn’t easy when his face had been plastered all over the media three years ago, but sitting in the back he hoped to get some peace.

He tucked into his burger but paused when he felt an alpha approaching.  “Mind if I join you?”  

“Get your ass down here, Kane,” Jensen said as he looked up from the floor.  Chris smirked and Jensen just shook his head as his friend lowered himself down, his own lunch in a bag in his hands.

“You look too serious.”

“Trying to eat.”

“Thinking,” Chris corrected him.  “What about?”

Jensen shrugged as he sipped his soda.  “Home.”

“He said yes.  Now you have to deal with that.”

“Elder Beaver is going to return as Pack Teacher.”

Chris nodded.  They’d talked about the man from time to time over the years.  “You were hoping you could find him and you did.  That should make you happy….”

“I just … I asked him to return.  There are a few more people I want to ask and I’m not sure how.”

“Just spit it out.”

“Will you-“

“You didn’t really think it was an option did you?  You thought I was going to leave my best friend to face that on his own?  Not as smart as I thought,” he teased.

Jensen closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.  He felt Chris knock their shoulders together and Chris smiled at him.  “You’re welcome.”

“It’s going to be rough.”

“Hey, you’re my best friend and I’d see you through this no matter what, but you’re not the only friend I got there.  Jared and I have been through more than one scrape together.  The last rough pack I had to go in and check up on, Jared was on _my_ team and he helped me turn the pack around.  He’s a good guy, a great friend, and an even better Alpha.  I’m not letting either one of you down.”

 

 

 

“Alpha Padalecki!  Alpha!  Over here!”

It was a mad house.  The end of the conference had come and while Jensen had been happy enough within the walls of the hotel, security had been called in because of the reporters and paparazzi that waited outside the front door.

Jensen had faced this every time he entered and left a conference since he’d started to work with the Beta Rights movement but it never failed to surprise him at the veracity people had when it came to pressing him about his personal life.

Yes, he made himself a public target by speaking but while most people gave him the space and respect he needed to talk about his past, too many people outside of the movement just wanted a sound bite.

“This is a bad idea,” Jared said softly at his side.

Jensen held his head up high as he looked at Jared.  “I’ve been doing this with Chris the whole time, Jared.  You know that.  We can get through.  It’s just a short distance to the car.  Ignore the reporters and cameras and we’ll be on our way home.”

He saw the way Jared’s eyes flashed, something angry behind them, and he knew that bringing up home was the wrong thing to do.  He didn’t know what exactly Jared expected to happen when Jensen returned, but there was so much anger in the alpha.  Over the years, Jared had opened up about his father’s experiences as an abused beta but Jensen had never seen the anger in his eyes.  What Jensen could remember of Jared’s reaction to his abuse in the beginning, it had always been compassion and sadness that had stuck out the most. 

Chris has always said Jared had a hard streak in him.  When Jensen was healthy enough to realize just what Jared had to do, he’d asked because he’d needed to be certain that Jared had been strong enough.  Cleaning out the pack the way he had wasn’t easy and even an established alpha would have a hard time.  Jared had been part of the Beta Rights movement most of his life though and he’d moved from pack to pack at order of the Council.  As the Alpha of the Two Forks Pack, he had to establish himself and that would have been a hard fought battle, even after Jensen’s father had been defeated and exiled.

“You two ready to face the crazies?” Chris came up beside Jared, his voice calm as he approached the agitated alpha. 

Jared turned his eyes to Chris and let out a deep breath.  “Chris…”

There was something in his voice and Jensen gripped Jared’s arm to try to get his attention.  Jared didn’t look at him though and it wasn’t until Chris nodded that Jared seemed to relax. 

“I got him.  Don’t worry Alpha,” Chris said as he bowed his head.  “I would never let anything happen to your Beta.”  Chris took a step closer then and Jensen watched as he tilted his head in submission to Jared.  He was shocked by the display, but Chris was an alpha coming into Jared’s pack.  It made sense that he would have to bow to the Pack Alpha.

Jared took a step away from Jensen and turned to face him again.  “You’re going to walk out with Chris.  I’ll be right in front of you.”

“Why can’t I walk with you?” Jensen asked. 

“It’s too much.  I told you, I wasn’t ready.  I trust you to know what you can handle Jensen.  I need you to follow my lead when I say what I can’t.”

Jensen took a deep breath before he nodded.  “Of course.”

Jared closed the distance between them then and wrapped him tightly in his arms.  “It’ll be okay.  I just need to get you to the car safe.  I’m too on edge right now.”

When Jared pulled away he bent and pressed a quick kiss to Jensen’s lips.  Jensen tangled his fingers in Jared’s hair and when the alpha tried to pull away he kept him close.  “We’ll be okay.  We’ll get to the car and be done with this.  I’m your beta.  I know you can do this Jared.”

Jared let out a shuddered breath and nodded his head before Jensen let him pull away.

“Let’s get this done with.”

Jared strode off toward the doors and Jensen followed quickly behind with Chris at his side.

There was security manning the walkway between the hotel and cars that waited for them but the noise was almost deafening.  Jared walked with his back tall and he didn’t falter as he ignored the questions that were directed at them.  Not even the inappropriately personal questions seemed to get past his cool façade.

Jensen was grateful to have Chris by his side, but he was more worried about Jared. 

A commotion broke out behind Jensen and a reporter stuck a microphone close to his face.  “Jensen, what can you tell us about the mating claim and the lawsuit that followed?  Will there be a second claim-“

His words were cut off as Jared’s hulking figure came up from behind Jensen.  He pushed past his beta and forced the report back against the wall of the hotel, one hand on his throat.

“Jared!”

Chris pulled him away but Jensen just wanted to get to Jared to let him know he was fine.  “He won’t back off until you’re safe Jensen.  Get in the damn car!”

Chris didn’t pull the alpha card on him, but he let his strength be felt as he manhandled Jensen towards the car.  His brain caught up with him and he realized his friend was right.  Jared had warned him and the only thing he could do was take himself out of the equation.  He got to the car and let Chris close the door.  A second later it opened again and Jared was in the driver seat beside him and they pulled quickly away.

Chris would follow in the second car but Jensen could see the fury that still gripped Jared.  He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to cross the silence.  He’d seen Jared like that before, when he’d first come to the pack, but Jensen’s memories of it were overcast with the torment of his reality back then. 

Silence filled the car and the only sound came from Jared’s hands as he re-gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles white.  Jensen let out a deep breath to try to dispel some of his own tension but it was hard when he could feel the anger coming off of his Alpha.  The Jared he’d come to know since he’d moved away was generally well tempered and funny.  He was laid back about things and he helped Jensen laugh about things that had sometimes tormented him.  It was easy to forget, years and miles away, that Jared had a fury that rivaled any Jensen had seen before.

“I won’t apologize for who I am,” Jared broke the silence.  “I protect my pack and I will protect you with my last breath.  I’m sorry if I scared you or upset you, but I can’t be less than I am.”

Jensen swallowed against the lump in his throat.  “I don’t expect you to be.  I just forgot.  You make it sound easy when we talk.  Even when you talk about how frustrated you are or how angry something has made you, I see it after the fact.  After you’ve calmed down.  I haven’t seen you truly angry since-“

“Since the mating claim.”

Jensen nodded.  There was nothing else to say to that. 

“I would never hurt you, Jensen.”

Jensen watched Jared’s profile while he drove them away from the incident.  “I’m not afraid of you, Jared,” he said as he reached over and took one of Jared’s hands from the wheel.  He twined his fingers through Jared’s and settled their hands on his knee.  “I feel safe with you.  That’s a good thing.  No matter how angry you were, I knew I was safe with you.  It’s taken a long time for me to feel safe with any alpha, let alone my Alpha when he’s angry.”

“So, take the win?”

Jensen smiled.  “Exactly.  I’ve had a lot of set backs and I’ve learned where to see the little victories.  Getting out of that hotel and sitting in the car with you, heading home to my pack?  That’s not a little victory.  It’s a major one.”

“Just hope the Beta Rights movement thinks so when that reporter shows what I did.”

“Did you hurt him?”

“No, I just held him until Chris told me you were in the car.”

“Then it was less than he deserved for breaking the security line and coming at me like that.  That was amazing control, Alpha.”

Jared looked at him quickly before he turned his eyes back to the road, but Jensen could see the small smile there.  It wasn’t enough, but it was a start.  Small victories, right?

 

 

 

The hotel room was nice and clean when Jensen took a seat on the bed.  It wasn’t home but they were on the way.  One more day and they’d be with his pack and Jensen would see what he had to face then.  Until, he had the evening with his Alpha and he wasn’t sure what to do with that.  

Jared had made sure that Jensen knew he wouldn’t have an intimate relationship with him until they got home, but there was something else Jensen needed and he didn’t know how to ask Jared for it. 

“Hey, you hungry?” Jared asked.

Jensen smiled as he grabbed the room service menu and lay down across the bed with it.  Jared joined him a moment later and they quickly had dinner ordered.   When Jared dropped back onto the bed, Jensen curled in around him and let his head rest on Jared’s shoulder. 

“Tired?” Jared asked.

“Just from being cooped up.”

“Feels good to just stretch out,” Jared said.

Jensen nuzzled up against Jared’s neck and he felt the alpha pull him closer.  Jared’s nose pressed against the mark at the spot where his shoulder and neck met.  The scar was still visible there and Jensen wasn’t subtle as he turned his head to give Jared better access to it. 

“Jensen?” his voice sounded wrecked and Jensen knew Jared had to want the same thing that Jensen did.

“Just think about it until after dinner, okay?” Jensen asked softly.  “I fought anyone who tried to put a claim on me.  You’re the only one who managed.  I know you’re not ready for the rest of it and I’m not trying to push.  But you are my mate and the claim is faded.  I want to feel it again.  I want everyone to be able to feel it, fresh and new when I walk back into my pack.”

“Jensen,” Jared whispered his name against his skin.  His lips brushed over the claim and Jensen closed his eyes at the feel of his alpha touching in that particular way, in that particular place.  “I’ll think about it.”

He didn’t bite down and renew the claim, but he teased his lips over the spot, light brushes and soft kisses until Jensen thought he might need to remove himself from the bed to take care of himself in private. 

He was saved from the moment when there was a knock at the door and their dinner arrived. 

The air was tense between them as they ate but it wasn’t bad.  Jensen watched Jared too closely and Jared tried too hard not to watch Jensen.  They were half way through the meal before Jensen finally caught Jared’s eye and he couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped his lips. 

It made the alpha smile and then they both started to laugh.  It broke the tension that had grown between them but Jared’s eyes were still hungry as he watched Jensen.

“Eat your dinner,” Jensen said with a shake of his head.  He still had a smile on his face though.

“You’re amazing,” Jared said softly as he picked up his fork and began to dig into the baked potato on his plate. 

Jensen just rolled his eyes.  “Don’t need to sweet talk me Alpha.  I’m already yours.”

Jared let out an undignified snort at that.  “Mine?  We’ll see about that after dinner.”

Jensen stopped with his fork in mid-air and Jared smiled.  “Yeah, I thought about it.  Maybe, if I’d put a more recent claim on you I’d have been able to hold myself together better at the hotel this morning.  Maybe it will help me keep my temper when we get home.  And if the old claim has me so unsettled right now, I can’t imagine how it makes you feel right now.”

“Thank you, Jared,” Jensen said as he reached across the table and took one of the alpha’s hands in his own. 

Jared smiled at him and though there was heat behind his eyes, it was mostly affection that shone through.  “Chris was right when he told me I was screwed.  I can’t deny you anything.”

When Jared pulled his hand away, they finished eating in silence but it was anticipation that flavored the rest of the meal.

 

 

 

When they had finished eating and Jared had left the tray outside their room, Jensen could feel the alpha tense up.  He knew he needed to do something to reassure him but he wasn’t sure what. 

“Movie?” he asked as he threw the remote at Jared.  The alpha caught it and Jensen watched as he turned the TV on and began to look through the channels.  Jensen slipped into the bathroom then and completed his nightly ablutions.  When he was done, he slipped into the light sleep pants he usually wore and headed into the main room. 

Jared was leaning back against the head board as he watched a cooking show. 

“Cooking?”

Jared smiled at him.  “I wanted to wait for you to start a movie.  Mind if I get cleaned up first?”

“Go ahead,” Jensen said as he packed his things away in his overnight case.  He let out a deep breath as the door closed between them.  When he got to the bed he pulled the covers back and crawled in.  He let Jared sleep on the side closest to the door since he knew the alpha was overly concerned about his safety right now.  It wasn’t much, but Jensen would do what he could to help Jared feel more settled. 

He obviously expected tomorrow to be rough and Jensen didn’t want to add to his stress when he could help it.  He didn’t know if he’d even be able to think about that sort of thing come morning.

The cooking show helped take his mind off it all, if only because it was about children and it was funny to watch them try to come up with interesting ways to cook with the different challenges on the show.  He didn’t even notice Jared had left the bathroom until he felt the bed dip down beside him.

“Ready to start the movie?” Jensen asked.

It was an action movie they’d both seen.  They’d skyped the whole thing together last month in what Jared referred to as their movie dates.  Jensen settled against Jared’s chest and smiled at the thought of actually being able to go see a movie with his alpha.  Sharing popcorn, soda, stealing his candy.  He couldn’t wait to do those things with Jared. 

“You seem pleased,” Jared said softly as the movie started.

“Just thinking about taking you to the movies.  Or a ball game maybe.  Even just out to grab drinks at a bar.  We’ve been separated for so long, the idea of going on a real date with you still seems a little surreal.”

Jared gave a soft hum of agreement as he pulled Jensen closer to him.  When he began to nuzzle up against Jensen’s ear he realized the alpha had no intention of making Jensen wait to reclaim his mark.

He turned his head to give Jared the room he needed.  “Do it,” he whispered.  “Claim me again, Alpha.”

“I claim you as my Beta, but soon, I’ll claim you as mine again.”  Jared teased his lips across the mark and Jensen squirmed against him.  The anticipation made him edgy and he felt Jared’s chuckle through his chest. 

Jared sat up and pushed Jensen onto his back before he leaned over and pressed his body over Jensen.  Jensen couldn’t help the way his body relaxed under his Alpha.  When Jared licked across the old scar Jensen arched up into him. 

“Jesus, Jensen,” Jared breathed into his skin.

“Please,” he begged.  Jared wasn’t being cruel but Jensen wanted so much more than Jared had offered so far.  He knew Jared wanted more, wanted the same things he did, but the alpha forced them to take this slow.  To be certain this mating wasn’t as harmful to them both as the last one had been.

“I’ve got you, Jensen,” Jared said as he let his weight settle more firmly onto Jensen’s body.  Jensen curled his hands in Jared’s long hair and shivered as Jared’s beard tickled at his sensitive neck.  Jared began to lick at the mark again.  When he began to suck at it, Jensen’s hips thrust up against Jared.  Jared let out a soft hum of approval and Jensen didn’t try to control his reaction to what his alpha was doing to him. 

He was nearly whimpering with need before Jared took pity on him.  Jared licked across what Jensen was sure would be a spectacular bruise before he finally bit down hard.  He felt Jared’s teeth elongate the way only an alpha could, felt the burn of the claim in his blood, and he came against Jared’s hip with a loud cry.

“Jensen, I need…”

“Yes,” Jensen answered before he could ask for what he needed.  Jensen didn’t care.  Whatever it was, it was yes. 

Jared pulled away from him but it was only to push his boxers down his thighs.  His cock was hard and leaking as Jared began to stroke himself.  He leaned back over Jensen and bit hard at the mark again.  When he did, Jensen felt Jared’s come across his naked stomach and chest.  Jared’s moans were masked in his neck but Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s neck and held him close as he bit his claim into his skin and marked his body with his seed. 

He found Jensen’s lips when he’d found his release but his body continued to move as Jared dragged his cock through the come and marked Jensen further with his scent. 

When he finally stilled, he took a deep breath and pushed back to stare at Jensen.  He closed his eyes and licked his lips.  “I shouldn’t have.”

Jensen looked up at the man in front of him.  Jared was beautiful.  He was tall and strong and proud of his heritage.  He was kind and sensitive to the needs of others.  He was exposed, physically and emotionally in that moment.  It was in Jensen’s hands to hurt him or heal him.

He sat up and pulled Jared’s pants back up and pushed the alpha onto his back.  He pulled the blankets up around his waist and settled against his side with his head pillowed on his shoulder where Jared would be able to easily reach the new mark. 

When he felt Jared relax under him, he pressed a kiss into Jared’s neck.  “I’m glad you did.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“In the morning.  They know you’re coming home.  I let the others know that you and Jim were both coming home tomorrow.”

“You think they’re ready?”

“I think the only way to find out is once you get there.”

“That’s why you’re so worked up about all this, isn’t it?”

“I’ve spent the last three years trying to make this a safe place for you, Jensen.  But I have no idea if it worked or not.  There are a few people I still have suspicions about but no one will talk up about them and I haven’t caught them at anything.  Maybe they weren’t part of what happened to you, but they might be a part of the rest of it.  I can’t just exile people from the pack without cause though.”

“I know, Jared.”

“I’m suspicious of the whole pack.  I can’t help it.  What they’d become?  I can’t forget that they all knew what was being done to you and they did nothing.”

“I don’t know that I can either.  We’ll see what happens tomorrow when we get there, alright?”  He sat up on his elbow and looked at the alpha.  “Tomorrow, we’ll go in there and we’ll take care of each other, right?”

Jared smiled at him, then set his hand on Jensen’s neck and ran his thumb over the mark.  “That’s right.  I’ll take care of you, Beta.”

“I’ll take care of you, Alpha.”

He leaned down and kissed Jared, something soft and reassuring before he finally let himself rest his head back on the alpha’s shoulder.  It wasn’t long before sleep overtook him. 

They both had nightmares, but they shushed each other through their waking and kissed each other back to sleep.

 

 

 

Jensen rolled his shoulders to try to alleviate some of the tension but he knew it wouldn’t do any good.  They’d just passed the welcome sign for the Two Forks Valley and Jensen had to take deep steadying breaths to keep a straight face.  Jared was just as tense as he was.  Jared had lived here for the past three years though. 

“You’re sure this is okay?” Jared asked again.

Jensen let out a shaky breath.  It was after lunch and he was glad they’d stopped early.  He wasn’t sure he’d have kept anything down if he’d waited to eat here.  “Yes.  I told you before.  I never lived in the Alpha Residence and my father sure as hell never took me in.  Even the cage he held me in was at my mother’s house so no one would see his disgrace.  You’ve lived in the Alpha’s Residence.  It will smell like you.  The last place I want to be today is someplace that doesn’t make me think of you.”

“Alright.  I just wanted to be certain.  Katie has been staying in your old home and if you would prefer to be there-”

“No.  I know I can’t stay there.  I don’t need the constant reminder of what happened in those walls.”

Jensen could feel him tense, but Jared didn’t ask again. 

The rest of the drive was silent.  Thankfully, the Alpha Residence was at the edge of town.  The idea was that the Alpha would be the first to get visitors.  They would have to come to him before they were allowed to visit the town and the pack.  It was an outdated concept, but Jared had reinstituted it while he sorted the pack out.  He didn’t want the wrong sort of people coming into the pack when he was in the process of cleaning up the mess of the last Alpha.  He was more lax with visitors now, but Jensen knew no one would be allowed to join them until Jensen was comfortable enough to deal with the people in his pack. 

When they pulled up to the house, Jensen gasped.  He remembered the old place, with its paint peeling gray and the windows shuttered and closed up.  Trees had hidden the home from sight and wild bushes had grown across the front porch.

The driveway was now lined with freshly trimmed trees that made the drive seem majestic.  The house had been painted a light shade of sage green, welcoming and warm.  The bushes had been cut back and brightly colored flowers were planted around the wrap around porch.  The windows were wide open and he could make out curtains blowing with the summer breeze. 

“Jensen?”

Jared had stopped the car and Jensen got out without answering.  He stared at the Alpha’s residence and he let out a shuddered breath. 

“Jensen?”  Jared was at his side and Jensen turned and dropped his face into his Alpha’s neck.  He took a few deep breaths and Jared seemed to understand.  He wrapped his arms around Jensen and buried his nose into the mark on Jensen’s skin.  

It calmed him until he was ready to face the rest of the house.  “I’m ok,” he said softly.

“I know it looks a lot different.”

“It’s good, Jared.  It looked decrepit and old before.  This looks like a home.”

Jared nodded, then offered Jensen his hand.  “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.”  Jensen let Jared twine their fingers together as he walked them towards the front door.  It wasn’t locked and Jensen stepped into the house with much different expectations than he’d pulled into the drive.

Instead of a place of his father’s dark history and weighted past, Jared had turned this into a residence.  It was someplace you wanted to visit.  There were pictured on the wall in the front hallway of Jared and his friends.  Jensen had seen enough pictures to recognize some of them.  Chris was in a few as well and Jensen smiled at this best friend’s face in the picture frame. 

The rooms had been stripped of their wallpaper and painted light, airy colors.  The wood paneling was replaced with honey wood and all the furniture had been modernized.  Jared had spent a lot of time on this place and he’d never said a word to Jensen about it.

When he looked at Jared he shrugged.  “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It is.  It’s a good surprise,” he said as he looked around the modern kitchen.  He closed the distance between them again and took a deep breath of Jared’s scent.  It filled the home, but there was something else there as well.  When he looked up at Jared, his alpha seemed to understand.

“Katie was here.  She stepped up to take charge while I was gone.  She would have done business here.”

“Or she came to bring muffins,” a female voice called from the front hallway.  “I also brought cookies.  I’ve heard chocolate was the way to our Beta’s heart.”

Jensen stayed close to Jared but he didn’t feel threatened by the beta that walked into the kitchen.  She smiled warmly at Jensen and he knew her voice even if he didn’t know her face.

“Katie, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

She set the tray of food she’d brought down on the table and smiled at Jensen.  Her long blond hair hung in curls past her shoulders and she wore no-nonsense jeans and a tee shirt.  She was beautiful but there was something wholesome about her.  She gave a little shrug of her shoulders as she took a step closer to Jensen.

“Permission to hug my Beta, sir?” she teased.

Jensen let out a bark of laughter and he stepped right into her embrace.  He felt her press her nose to his neck and he scented her the same as she was scenting him.  She was the warm summer sun at the lake.  Honeysuckle vines grown wild and beautiful. 

“It is so good to see you, Jensen,” she said softly.

When he stepped back she looked him over for a few moments before she finally took a step back.  “I figured you might want something after the drive.  Not too heavy.  Matt had the kids help me pick blueberries for the muffins.  I made sure the fridge was stocked too.  If you need anything, just let me know.  I don’t know all of your favorites, but I did my best.  I’m sure you’ll want to start doing your own thing soon enough, but if there’s anything you need while you’re getting settled in, I’m your girl.”

She sat at the table and Jensen was drawn down to sit with her.  He nibbled on muffins and Katie made lemon chamomile tea to drink.  Jared stood back in the kitchen and watched until Katie noticed. 

“Beta, may I have permission to hug the crap out of the Alpha now?”

Jensen had already known how good Katie was at her job.  The way she phrased her request though made him look twice at her.  If she had made a formal request it would have bothered him.  It would have felt like she wanted to imply something about her relationship with Jared.  The informality of it, while still asking, made their relationship feel more like siblings than anything else.  If she’d called Jared her alpha, it would have represented a claim that Jensen wasn’t sure he’d have handled well, but if she’d called him Jensen’s Alpha it might have brought up old memories he didn’t want to face just yet.

He smiled as he reached out and touched her hand lightly in an affectionate gesture.  Her eyes lit up when he did and her smile grew.  “Hug away.”

Katie moved around the kitchen slowly and Jensen knew it was to keep either of them from having a startle reflex.  When she stopped in front of Jared she waited with a grin.  He snatched her up off the floor and swung her around with a light laugh.  Jensen closed his eyes and enjoyed the sound of their joined laughter as it filled the house. 

“Did I miss anything while I was gone?”

“Packs been quiet.  Nothing to do but clean up and wait for you boys.  We did get to see your magnificence on TV though.”

“The reporter?” Jared cringed.

“Yep,” she said with a smile.  “The news is talking about what amazing control you have that you didn’t rip the guy to pieces.”

“That’s what they took away from that?” Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head.  “I saw the rage in your eyes, Jared, and it was absolutely amazing that the reporter walked out with just a bruise from where you held him back.”

“At least the Beta Rights movement never labeled you a saint.  You were always the wild one, anyway.”

 “What?” Jensen asked.

Katie smiled at Jensen as she came back to join him at the table.  Jared sat on Jensen’s other side and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie to eat. 

“When they needed a cool head to lead a team, they sent Chris.  When they thought there might be a real fight, that they needed someone with more ingrained instincts, they send Jared.”

“All the times we’ve talked, even with what I’ve seen, and I never really saw you as much of a fighter.”

Katie smiled.  “This isn’t the first pack he’s had to take an Alpha down on.  Just the only one he decided to keep.  He ever tell you how we met?”

“He doesn’t talk a lot about the past of the people he works with.”

“It’s not my place.”

“Damn straight,” Katie said but she winked as she said it.  “I was being held by human traffickers.  I was just a kid and I hadn’t seen too much of the bad yet but it was bad enough.  It was a group of alphas from a small town in the middle of nowhere.  They snatched kids up on their way home or from the playgrounds or wherever the opportunity presented itself.  The local police were sent in with SWAT.  And there Jared was.”

“What was Jared doing there?”

“He was a member of the SWAT team.  That was it, wasn’t it?” Katie asked.  “You left SWAT after that?”

“Yeah.  There were too many people that needed my help and the SWAT team was good without me.  Still have friends on the team though and they let me know when someone might need our help.”

“Anyway, they all come in and the alphas go ape shit and when the fighting is done, the only alpha left standing was Jared.  We’re all cowering in the corner because we don’t know what’s about to happen.”

“All but one was cowering,” Jared interrupted.  “This spitfire beta stands up between me and this group of kids huddled in the floor.  Demands to know when I’m taking them all home.”

“You kept her,” Jensen said with a grin.

Katie returned it.  “He kept me.  Took me to the Beta Rights movement and helped me.  When I was strong enough, I went back to school.  Kept going until I figured out how I could help Jared the way he helped me.”

“And now you’re part of his cleanup crew?”

“Best crew in the country.”

“Damn straight!”

Jensen turned around to find Chris walking down the hallway.  He knew his best friend had been there before.  He’d been part of the mop up crew and he still visited Jared from time to time to check up on him but Jensen had never been more grateful to see him.

He got up and nearly slammed the alpha over as he wrapped his arms around him and took in his scent. 

“Woohhh, big guy,” Chris’s words were soothing but Jensen knew it wasn’t for him.  He didn’t pull away from Chris but he turned his head to see Jared’s very impressive frame blocking the hallway.

“Jared, keep Katie company.  I just need a minute with my friend.”

Jared stepped closer but he simply ran his thumb over the claim at Jensen’s neck before he stepped back.  Jensen couldn’t help but shiver at the touch and Chris let out a small chuckle.

“That claim seems new,” Chris commented as Jensen took a step back. 

Jensen led him back out the front door to sit on the banister of the wrap around porch.  “It’s something at least.”

“Still not what you wanted.”

“Nope.  But he needs time and I have to respect that when he’s given me so much more.”

“And being here?”

Jensen looked around.  “It looks nothing like it did when my father lived here.  I can’t believe the change in the place.  I’m glad that Jared took the Alpha Residence now.  I don’t have memories of this place like I do the rest of the town.  This was someplace he would never take me.  He hated that I was a beta and he never claimed me as an heir.”

“So all new memories?”

“Other than driving past the driveway, yes.”

“And Katie?”

“Is really good at what she does.”

Chris laughed.  “That she is.  She’s a good friend and a good person to work with.  But you already knew that.”

“I did.  I just don’t think it hit me, how carefully she’s worked to make me feel comfortable.  And she asked to hug Jared and I could see it all.  She’s amazing.”

“Don’t tell her.  It might get to her head and she already knows we’re lost without her.”

Jensen laughed lightly but it died down when they heard a car on the main road.  By the time it turned onto the driveway, Jared and Katie were on the front porch.  Jensen didn’t recognize the truck but he knew who it was anyway.

“It’s Jim.”

“Jim?” Katie asked. 

“Elder Beaver.  Jensen asked him to come take over as Pack Teacher,” Jared said.  It didn’t stop him from stepping past Jensen to put him between the approaching car.  Jensen didn’t fail to notice that Chris and Katie had subtly done the same.

“He’s not going to hurt me,” Jensen said with a sigh. 

Katie turned to look at him and seemed to realize what she’d done.  She looked down sheepishly but she didn’t step back.  It wasn’t an overt attempt to block Jensen from harm but some careful maneuvering to keep him safe.  When Jim stepped out of the truck, he looked around the house and whistled. 

“Now that is a pretty picture.  She used to be a beauty in her days.  It was a shame to see her fall into disrepair.”

Jared stepped off the front porch and walked out to meet the other alpha.  “Elder Beaver.  Nice to see you still remembered your way home.  This is Chris Kane, an alpha with the movement.”

Chris moved forward and took the man’s hand.  “I remember you from the conference.”

“The movement sent you here too?” Jim asked.

“Jensen’s best friend.  Where he goes, I do,” Chris corrected.

“And this lovely lady is Katie.  She’s been the pack go between for our Beta until he was able to come home.”

“A pleasure, Katie.”

“Elder,” she said respectfully. 

“Jim, please.  I’m old, not dead.”

When Jim looked at Jensen he smiled wider.  “About time you took your place here.”

Jensen could feel Jared tense but he didn’t understand what Jim meant.  “The alpha was never going to bring me here.”

“You were the rightful heir.  It should have been your choice of mates that became the next Alpha and not someone he tried to maneuver into that position.”

Jensen smiled.  “It all worked out in the end after all.  Thank you for coming home, Jim.  You want to come inside?  I’m sure you’ll appreciate the amount of work they’ve put into this place in ways I can’t.”

Katie walked Jim back in but Jared stopped Jensen with a hand to his wrist.  “Jensen?”

Jensen let out a deep breath.  “You know we were a traditional pack.  The Alpha wanted us isolated and he kept us that way.  Local tradition was that the Alpha’s first born decided the next Pack Alpha.  Either the child was an alpha and took over the position, or they became Pack Beta and their mate became the Pack Alpha.  My father caged me up to make sure the only ones close to me during heat were his choice of successors.  I refused.  They were brutal and I became vicious.  They tried to claim me but I never let them.  I became feral because the only way to keep my father from choosing his successor was to make sure I was never claimed.”

“And who would want a mate that had to be chained or caged all the time?” Chris asked.

“You never said.”

Jensen didn’t answer the pain in Jared’s voice.  He couldn’t.  Not when Jared’s fingers went instantly to the four scars across his torso and his claim still itched against Jensen’s neck.

“You never actually told him all of it,” Chris admonished.

Jensen leaned back against the post on the fence as he watched Jared walk away from him and down the driveway.  He knew the alpha wouldn’t go far, but he needed the distance.  He was suddenly grateful that Jared had never given into Jensen’s need for the complete mating claim.

“I never knew how.  What happened between us when I went into heat that first time, it was bad.  He didn’t need to know that the one thing that had kept me fighting was that no one had ever claimed me.  He didn’t need to know that he’d taken the one thing I had left to fight for.”

“You think him finding out here was a good idea?”

Jensen let out a deep breath.  “No.  Never said it was a good idea.  I just ran out of time to tell him.”

Chris shook his head.  “You gonna be okay?”

Jensen understood what he was asking.   “Yeah.  I’ll go talk with Katie and Jim.  Let him know I’m ready to talk about it when he is.”

Chris nodded his head but then he ran off the porch and down the drive to where their Pack Alpha had disappeared.

 

 

 

Chris came back without Jared but he stayed and Jim and Katie kept them company until Jared finally returned.  They left quickly then and Jensen was left alone with him.

“You’re sure you don’t want to head down into town?” Jared asked quietly after they finished dinner. 

Katie had left a fridge full of food and they’d eaten one of the meals she’d prepared ahead for them.  Now that they were done an uneasy silence filled the space between them. 

“I think being here tonight is enough.  Tomorrow I’ll face the others.”

“We can watch a movie?” Jared suggested. 

“I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the plot tonight,” Jensen said.  “We could turn in early?”

Jared stiffened at the idea and Jensen realized his mistake.  The last place Jared wanted to be was closer to the claim he’d put on Jensen and the pressure Jensen had put on him to claim him again.

“I have an idea,” Jensen said quietly.  He didn’t ask Jared to follow him but he walked out the door and out onto the wrap around porch.  He followed it around to the back of the house and out the yard.  The back of the property was edged by the forest and not far from where they were was a stream that Jensen had played in as a child.  He walked into the woods and Jared caught up with him.

“Where are we going?”

“Someplace with good memories,” Jensen answered. 

It was a ten minute walk but Jensen wasn’t in a hurry.  Jared pulled him to a stop when he heard the first trickle of water.  Jensen looked up at him with a smile and Jared just nodded before he let Jensen lead the way. 

The stream was fuller than Jensen had seen it in a long while but the forest looked healthy and Jensen took a deep breath and sighed.  For the first time he could smell Jared wrapped up in this private place of his and it felt right. 

“Jensen, what is this place?”

Jared’s voice was quiet, almost reverent and Jensen smiled at his Alpha.  “When I was a child I used to come here.  I wasn’t allowed to go up to the house but before I became a beta my father had left me to my own devices.  My mother was away working so I had the days to myself.  I used to come here to explore.  I used to think I was the only one that ever sat on the edge of this stream and drank from it.”

“It’s peaceful.  No bad memories?”

“None.  One year, I managed to escape the chains.”

“You never told me that.”

“I lived in these woods.  It was a whole year before they found me and captured me again.  That was when I went in the cage full time.  But when I was feral, I was closer to my instincts.  I could hear them coming, I could smell them.  I think being feral changed me a little because when I came back to myself I could still see and hear better than a beta should.”

“I’ve noticed.”

Jensen smiled at him.  “You have?”

“You’re far more instinct driven than most of the betas I’ve met.  Which is good because I am too.”

Jensen closed the distance between them and when Jared took a step away, he was backed up into a huge tree.  Jensen smiled as he stepped into Jared and felt the alpha put his arms around him. 

“What are you doing Jensen?”

“I wanted to show you the one place in this town that holds only good memories for me.  Maybe make a few new ones.”

“You know-”

“I’m not asking for the claim, Jared.  I just … it was stupid of me not to explain it to you.  All of it to you.  Maybe I wanted to show you something good to make up for that,” Jensen said as he leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on Jared’s lips.

When Jensen pulled away and looked back up at him, Jared cupped Jensen’s face in his hand and pulled him in again.  Jensen’s lips parted and Jared took the invitation as he deepened the kiss.  Jared dropped his hand from Jensen’s face and pulled him closer as his hands roamed down Jensen’s side to rest low on his back.  Jensen wrapped his fingers in Jared’s hair and moaned lightly. 

Jared dropped his forehead to rest against Jensen’s, “If this is an apology I may have to start fights to get more.”

Jensen laughed as he tilted his head and let Jared rub his lips across the claim on his neck.  Jensen brought his hand up between them and trailed his fingers across the scars on Jared’s stomach at the same time. 

“How badly did I mess this up?” Jared asked quietly.

“The claiming?” Jensen asked.

Jared nodded.  Jensen wasn’t sure what to say but he decided he needed to be honest.  “I was still feral when I went into heat Jared.  You were trying to put me someplace safe so I didn’t hurt anyone.  You weren’t trying to force the claim on me and I know that.  I wasn’t able to understand that back then though.  When I fought you, I know you had to put me down.  And not because I was a beta and you were the Alpha, but because I was a danger to everyone around me.  That we both followed instinct once I submitted wasn’t your fault.”

“But you didn’t see it that way then.”

“No, of course not.  I was wild.  But that first glimmer of awareness that I had, before you sent me away, that was because of the mating claim.  The bond we have gave me the chance to get my sanity back.  I’ve talked to a lot of people about it and I think that as crazed as I was, I needed that link to forge my way back.  Maybe it messed us up for a while, but it gave me the chance to heal.”

“You said that before.”

“I meant it before. But now you know why I fought when you came in the room instead of being able to back down from the Alpha.”

“Because with your father’s exile it was your right to choose your mate, and the Pack Alpha.”

Jensen nodded.  “When you say the next time you make a mating claim it won’t be about heat or any of that, I want that.  I want you to know that I choose you.  And if I had been able to heal before that claim had been made, I would have chosen you.”

Jared pulled him close and Jensen took a deep breath. 

“It’s really nice out here,” Jared said.

Jensen smiled because he knew that whatever else they had to face, they’d managed to get through the one secret he’d kept.

“Yeah, it really is.”

 

 

 

 

The next morning Katie showed up with a platter of pastries and fresh fruit.  “Let me help you,” Jensen said as he helped her grab food from the car.

“Did you invite the whole pack for breakfast?” he teased as he set the food on the counter.

“I figure there will be a few over this morning.  Jared always liked to start the day with business in the kitchen.  I think it’s just an excuse to make sure we’re being fed, but it could just be that he likes to eat so much.”

Jensen laughed but he stilled when he heard a car in the driveway.  He went to the door and waved Chris and Jim in but he smiled at Katie.  “Let them know we’ll be down when Jared gets out of the shower.”

“You got it, Beta,” she said from the hallway.  He left the greetings to her and was pleased to know that she understood.  Jensen wasn’t about to let two alphas into the house without Jared there until he was sure Jared was ready for that. 

“Jensen?”

Jared came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, dripping wet. 

“Katie is here with breakfast.  Chris and Jim came in but I thought it might be best to wait for you to say hello to the alphas.”

Jared didn’t say anything but he kissed Jensen quickly before he pulled the towel from his waist and began to dry off.  Jared was unaware of the sudden pounding of Jensen’s heart.  He knew Jared was attractive but seeing him like that, especially after a night of heavy kissing, left Jensen suddenly speechless.

It was a good thing Jared was focused on finding clothes because it took the entire time he was getting dressed for Jensen to pull himself together. 

It hit him hard then.  He’d never wanted anyone else.  When his heats had come he’d refused anyone on principle because they were only his father’s lapdogs.  He’d been too traumatized to actually be attracted to anyone after that.  And he’d been claimed by Jared by then.  To see Jared and just want him was strange and exciting and a completely alien feeling.

“Jensen, you ready?”

“Yeah,” he said as he looked up.  “I’m starving and breakfast looked great.”

“Katie likes to take care of us.”

“You, or everyone?”

“She might spoil me a little bit.”

Jensen laughed as they walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the others.  They were sitting around the kitchen table but no one had eaten yet. 

Chris and Jim stood as one.  “Alpha,” they both said respectfully. 

Jared waved them off and took a seat at the head of the table and Jensen took the open seat to his right.  “What’s the plan of the day Katie?” Jared asked.

“You said you were going to take Jensen into town today so we kept the pack close.  Your crew is all hanging near the City Center so Jensen can meet them.”  Katie smiled at Jensen as she continued.  “There are some old faces who came back to the pack but we wanted to make sure you got a chance to meet those of us that came in with Jared.  We’re here to support you so if you need anything, you just let one of us know.”

“So there are a team full of babysitters to make sure I don’t panic?  Awesome.”

“Jensen.” 

Jensen sat up straighter because Jared had never reprimanded him like that before. 

“The team I brought is not here to babysit.  They’re trained professionals that are here to help the entire pack.  Offering to support you as Pack Beta is about helping you when you need it and helping your pack members when they do.  You aren’t the only one that suffered and there are a lot of people that might come to you for advice or help that you aren’t trained to help.  Don’t dare treat my team like less than they are.”

Jensen’s eyes widened and a flush of shame covered his face.  It was partly because the others had heard the rebuke but it was mostly because Jared was right.

“I’m sorry.”

Jared nodded but his shoulders stayed tight and Jensen could tell he wasn’t able to let go of the tension yet.  He wasn’t sure it was going to get better until they finished visiting the town though so Jensen didn’t say anything else about it. 

“Will Matt be around so I can meet him?” Jim asked.

Katie nodded.  “I’d like Jensen to meet him as well as the children.  They’ve learned a little about our Pack Beta but it’s hard to talk to them about you when you aren’t here,” she said as she looked at Jensen. 

“Alright.  Let’s eat, then we can get going,” Jared said as he started to make a plate.

The others began to eat but when Katie walked away to get a drink, Jensen followed her.  “Katie?”

He spoke quietly so the others wouldn’t hear but he didn’t know if he’d succeed.  They were alphas after all.  He just hoped they’d give him a little privacy.

“Jensen?  Do you need something?”

“To apologize.”

“There is no need.”

“There is.  I didn’t mean to offend you or to make you think that I don’t appreciate what you and the others have done.  It was a moment of self-doubt and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Or to yourself,” She said kindly.  “Jensen, you’ve been through a lot.  No one expects this to be an easy transition for you.  There will be plenty of battles we can’t do anything about, so please let us help with the ones we can.”

Jensen felt tears prickle the back of his eyes and he took a deep breath.  Katie just waited with him and he took her hand in his because he didn’t know what else he could do.  She took a half step closer and when he pulled her in for an embrace she folded gracefully into his arms. 

Her unexpected kindness and understanding was unlooked for and completely unsettling.  He knew, in his head, what Jared did.  He knew what had happened to his pack and what Jared and his crew had worked so hard to do.  He knew that every one of them was trained to help trauma victims.  He knew from the long conversations with Jared over the phone and he knew from the hours spent with Chris that they were all damn good at caring for others. 

Sitting in the Alpha’s Residence though, it was almost too much kindness to take.

“Thank you,” he said softly. 

When he let her go, she stepped back with a hopeful smile on her face.  “Anytime, Beta.”

“Jensen?”

He looked back to see Jared watching them closely.  Chris and Jim were still at the table but they were obviously not looking into the kitchen.  Katie walked away to join them at the table and she patted Jared’s arm as she walked past.  Jensen felt some of his own tension release at the way the beta naturally cared for all of those around her without conscious thought.

“I just needed to apologize for my words.  I needed to say it to her.”

Jared nodded.  “She’s a good person to have on your side.”

“You all are,” Jensen said.  “The Two Forks Pack was lucky that the Council sent you to us.  I don’t think anyone else would have cared enough to try to help us heal.  They’d have just separated us all and disbanded the pack.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen to your pack Jensen, to our pack.”

“I know.  Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for it.  They’re mine to care for now.  All of them.”

“That’s why I’m thanking you.  Because I’ve been worried about myself and you’ve been worried about everyone.  I’ll be stronger.  I’ll be better.”

“Jensen-”

“No.  I don’t doubt your people Jared and that’s not why I said what I did.  So just know that I’m going to be a better beta.  I’ll be the Pack Beta that this pack needs.”

Jared leaned in close and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s lips and smiled as he pulled back.  “I know you will.”

“You two better get back in here or Chris is going to eat all the pastries,” Katie called in to them. 

Jensen let out a short huff of a laugh and Jared smiled even brighter at him. 

“Chris, I will kick your ass to Sunday if you take all the chocolate ones!” Jensen called back.

The kitchen was suddenly filled with laughter and Jensen felt like it was okay again.

 

 

 

The City Center was the public square in the downtown district of Two Forks Valley.  It was a small community, designed to stay that way, and it wasn’t something Jensen wanted to change either.  He could remember being a close knit family when he was younger.  Before his first heat and he’d been declared a beta instead of the alpha his father wanted him to be. 

An amphitheater was set into the hillside where the schools put on performances and concerts were held in the summer.  They used it for festivals and it was a general meeting place.  On the other side of the street was their government building.  Technically, as Pack Beta he had offices in that building but he’d never set foot inside.  He wondered about Jared’s office since Katie said he liked to work out of the kitchen but he wasn’t sure what that was about.  He’d have to ask when he got the chance.

Now wasn’t that time.  He sat on the bottom seat of amphitheater and Jared sprung up to meet a group of people who had just arrived.  The first of the group was an older man with a salt and pepper beard and a warm smile.  He pulled Jared into a tight hug and Jensen bit back a need to stand up and put himself between the Alpha and the others. 

“Jensen?” Jim asked beside him.  Jensen just took a deep breath and looked at the Elder.  He gave him a reassuring smile and Jensen knew the elder had seen him tense up. 

The second man was smaller than Jensen, more wiry than muscled with a self-deprecating manner when Jared spoke to him.  The last of the group had brilliant blue eyes as he looked past Jared to stare openly at Jensen. 

When Jared looked across the stage at Jensen he smiled and brought the others over with him. 

“Jensen, this is the rest of the team, minus Matt and Brock.    Jeff Morgan has taken over the position of Town Sheriff since I arrived.  This is Rob.  He’s a sort of morale booster.  He’s good at helping promote community and getting packs together.  This guy here is Misha.”

“And what do you do, Misha?” Jensen asked.

“I notice things.”

Jensen nodded because he wasn’t sure what else to say to that.  “This is Elder Jim Beaver,” he said instead of addressing Misha.  “Elder Beaver was exiled from the pack under the last Alpha and agreed to come back to the position of Pack Teacher.  He was the best Pack Teacher we have ever had.”

“Why was he exiled?” Morgan asked.  Jensen narrowed his eyes but Jim took a step forward.

“The Alpha didn’t like the way I taught the children that betas are as important to the pack as alphas.  He didn’t like that I tried to interfere with what he was doing to his own children.”

“And what did you do when he exiled you?  Did you tell anyone what was happening here?” Morgan pushed. 

“Enough,” Jensen glared at Morgan and he didn’t care that the man was an alpha, or that he was one of Jared’s.  “You will treat a Pack Elder with respect.”

“Jensen-” Jared tried to interrupt.

“Am I understood alphas?” he asked the three men.  They were all alphas and Jensen had never been so bold as to push like this but he wasn’t about to have the Elder put down for his behavior when these men didn’t know the first thing about him. 

Misha bowed his head with a quirk of his lips and Rob answered a quick, “Of course, Beta.”

Morgan watched the two of them a moment before he finally bowed his head. 

“If you’ll excuse me, Alpha,” Morgan said to Jared, “I have rounds to make.”

He left with a nod from Jared but they all watched him leave. 

“That’s interesting,” Misha broke the silence. 

Jared looked like he wanted to ask but Misha looked at the Elder.  “The two of you have history?”

Jim shook his head.  “We have reputations.  That have been known to clash.”

“Is this going to be a problem?” Jared asked Jim.  It was carefully neutral and Jensen appreciated his handling of it. 

Jim shook his head.  “I don’t imagine he’ll be hanging around the school often and I make a promise to not get the sheriff called on me.  How does that sound?”

Jared let out a short laugh and nodded.  “Perfect.  Maybe we should get you over to the school.  We can talk as we walk over there.”

Jared walked with Misha who spoke softly to the Alpha but Rob smiled kindly at Jensen as he walked beside him.

“How long have you been with Jared?” Jensen asked. 

Rob looked up, like he was counting something in his head.  “This will be the fourth year I’ve been on his team.  I met him at a conference a number of years back and we kept in touch.  When Chris had some trouble with a pack Jared called me and asked me to come in.  The pack was trying to heal but they couldn’t seem to find any cohesion with one another.  We managed to help them and when Jared and Chris got the next call I was one the team for good.”

“It must be hard.  As soon as you see the pack turn around, you get shipped out and have to go live out some packs nightmare.”

“It’s not like that really.  I mean, yes, it’s hard to walk away when you spend time with a pack but we keep in touch with the people that we meet.  And there is always downtime between packs.  I imagine the other teams aren’t getting quite the break they’re used to since we’ve been caught up with this pack for so long, but that’s what we do.  Most of us work with the movement the majority of the time.”

“How long do you normally stay with a pack?”

“It varies a lot.  Sometimes we get sent in to check on things and it’s just a few days because there’s nothing to see or do.  Most of the time we get sent in for a week or two to help someone out.  Occasionally we have to help settle territory disputes.  This sort of thing? It doesn’t happen often.”

“And you’ve never seen anything this bad.”

Rob shook his head.  “Sorry.”

“I’ve heard it often enough to know the truth.  Besides, I lived it.  I can’t imagine it being much worse.”

“Yeah, sorry about that too.  How does it get so bad is what I really want to understand?  I’ve talked and talked to people and it’s never made sense.”

“It’s really simple,” Jensen said as they walked.  Jared and Misha had stopped talking and Jensen knew they were listening even if they weren’t looking back at him.  “My father was smart.  He started a smear campaign and when people got agitated he drove them away or found ways to get rid of them.”

“Like Elder Beaver?”

“Exactly.  There wasn’t enough going on when the Elder left to call the Council in on.  He might not have agreed with what was happening but it was the Alpha’s right to lead his pack in a traditional manner.   When most of the people who would object were gone, he promoted people to power that would support him no matter what he did.  And once that happened, no one was safe.  We were already isolated but then no one could call for help and when I went feral what little hope some of the community had that I would pick an Alpha that would save them fell apart and they gave up hope.”

Rob bumped his shoulder with Jensen.  “Good thing we showed up when we did then.  You’ll see how far they’ve come, Jensen.  They want to deserve you.”

“I’m not something to be deserved,” Jensen said softly.  “I failed them.”

“You were their hope and you never stopped fighting.  They knew that, even when you couldn’t remember what you fought for,” Rob said.  “They’re your pack now, Beta.  You should deserve each other.  If not, then we’ll keep working on all of you until you do.  And we won’t leave until we’re sure you do, because you’ve got Alpha Padalecki now and we certainly aren’t going to leave him with a pack that doesn’t deserve him.”

Jared looked back at Rob and gave him a quick smile but when they got to the school he stopped and waited for Jensen.  “Are you ready for this?” Jared asked.

Jensen nodded.  “Yeah.  I have mostly good memories of Elder Beaver and the school.”

“Mostly?” Misha asked.

Jensen nodded.  “You aren’t likely to hear of anyplace in this town that doesn’t hold bad memories for me, Misha.  But some places hold far more good.  Like a classroom where a teacher always stayed late to keep the library open for a young boy whose mom worked and whose father wouldn’t acknowledge him until he came of age.”      

Jared held the door open and Jensen crossed the threshold.  The building wasn’t much different than it had been when Jensen had been a child in its halls.  It had been painted and cared for and was in better repair than when he’d last been there.  There were three open classroom areas and in the back was the library with a small amphitheater built into the wall where the teacher could read books to the students or where they could give reports for the others.  Jensen had always loved the design of the school.  Elder Beaver had let the older students mentor younger students and those that struggled with the material.  It gave the older children an empathy for others and gave them a better understanding for the lessons as well.  It also taught the younger children respect for their elders and gave them examples of how to behave properly. 

Inside the school, the children sat on the back wall as a young man read to them.  Some of the older children lingered at the edges to listen to the younger children’s story and Jensen could see that the man reading was an engaging performer.  Some of the older children were reading more age appropriate books in the amphitheater or at tables set among the books. 

Elder Beaver was standing to one side with Chris as they watched.  Jensen assumed the man reading was Matt. 

He wanted to wait it out to see what would happen when Matt finished the book, but someone caught his eye and Jensen moved away to follow two towards the gymnasium.

“Jensen?” he heard Jared call his name and he knew the others had followed him as well but he had to go.

When they entered it was empty except for the young man and an older boy.

“Colin?”

The older boy turned around and Jensen was taken back by the anger he saw directed at him. 

“So, you decided to come back?” Colin asked.

“Colin,” the young man with him reprimanded.

“No.  You just left.   They wouldn’t let us talk to you and we had no idea if you were still… if they’d… We didn’t know.”

Jensen took a step forward and Colin ran towards him.  He heard Jared’s warning growl but Jensen moved quicker to get to the young man.  Colin hadn’t expected it and the punch he’d tried to throw was off and Jensen pulled him into an embrace.  Colin tried to get his arms free but Jensen didn’t let go.  He didn’t hear the words that Colin spat out but he could tell from the reaction from the others that they weren’t kind.  Jensen just held on until he felt the fight leave the younger boy.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he sat them on the floor.  He didn’t let go and kept the boy tightly in his embrace.  “When I left, I was still feral.  I couldn’t talk to anyone.”

“They said… they said they’d help you but we never saw you.  No one ever saw you except him.  I was supposed to take an alpha’s word that you were safe?”

“I’m so sorry, Colin.  I’m here now though.  We’ll figure it out.”

He felt a sob in the boy’s body and when Jensen looked up he could see the pain in Jared’s eyes.  Jensen knew there were a few that Jared hadn’t been able to get through to.  Jared didn’t understand what Jensen did though.

He heard a door open and saw Jim and Matt walk through to check on them.  When he looked back at Jared, Jensen took a deep breath.  “He’s my brother.  My half brother.  There were four of us, all betas.  I was treated the worst but none of them were treated well.”

Jared closed his eyes and the young man who’d entered the room with Colin seemed to grasp the importance of that.

He set a hand on the back of Colin’s head.  When Jensen growled defensively, Colin stirred and looked back at the other man before he looked at Jensen.  “No, he’s mine.  He’s not like the other alphas.”

Jensen watched as Colin pulled himself together and then got up and started to walk away.  “I have to get to class.  Can I … can I come see you?”

“Of course,” Jensen answered.  “I live in the Alpha Residence now.”

“Does he have to be there?” Colin asked, his eyes skirting to Jared as he spoke. 

He understood that Colin didn’t trust any of the alphas now and while Jensen could understand that, he needed to help Colin learn to trust his Pack Alpha again.  “It’s his home, so yes.  But we can talk in another room or out back if you’d like.”

Colin nodded and Jared offered Jensen a hand up off the floor.

“Brock, you know you’re welcome to bring Colin to see Jensen any time he wants,” Jared told the other man.  He nodded at Jared’s words and he followed Colin out.

Jensen watched for a moment before he looked at Jared.  “I don’t like that.”

“I know.”

“The alpha is too old for him.”

“I know, but he won’t let anyone else close.”

“He’s bonding to him.”

“We’re aware.  Brock has been trying to slow the process but there’s only so much he can do that won’t damage what little progress he’s been able to make with Colin.”

“Why aren’t you stopping it completely?” Jensen demanded of Jared.

“Colin forced the bond.  Brock didn’t expect it and it was all he could do to keep it from forming immediately.  They spend two hours every day with Misha to try to manage it.”

Jensen felt sick at the idea.  He’d heard of it in extreme cases, but for Colin to force that on the other man was almost as bad as what his father had tried to do to him.  “Colin would never-”

“Normally, no, we all agree,” Rob said quietly.  “When Jared sent you away though he became violent.  We thought he was about to go feral himself.  Misha realized that the older alphas scared him so we sent our youngest alpha to try to get through to him.  Chris sent videos and messages and everything we could think of to let him know you were okay but since you wouldn’t respond he thought it was all a trick.  He attacked Brock about six months after you left.  When Brock forced him into submission, Colin tried to protect himself the only way he could.”

“He forced the bond.”

Rob nodded.  “Brock said it was already there before.  He hadn’t said anything to us because the bond usually takes years to build and with Colin’s abuse it would be even longer before he’d trust an alpha.  He just hadn’t anticipated that.”

Jensen let out a deep breath.  “The other two?  Where are they?”

“Who?” Jared asked.

“My sisters?”

“Whoever your half-siblings were, they hadn’t admitted it to any of us.  We had no idea about Colin.  I wish we had.  It would have explained a lot.”

Jensen nodded.  “Where are Alona and Danneel?”

“Alona is your sister?” Chris asked from where he’d joined them.  “Well hell.  That explains a lot.”

“Can I see her?”

Jared looked at Chris before he looked back to Jensen.  “Let Chris talk to her first.  She’s not great with surprises.”

“But I’ll be able to see her?  She’s okay?”

Jared nodded.  “She had a hard time of it, but she was protected by someone.  When you left, we sent Alona away too.  She came back six months later, much better able to handle this place.  It’s been hard on her but she’s been very helpful.  She’s really good with the teens that keep getting into trouble. She’s been helping Morgan with an afterschool program for the betas who were treated poorly or bullied in school.”

“She’s doing that?”

“Yeah.  She’s got some rough days sometimes, but Morgan sticks pretty close to her while she’s with the group.”

“You trust him with her?”

“Jensen, I trust him.”

“Alright.  But what about Danneel?  My other sister?”

“There was no Danneel when we came to Two Forks.”

Jensen stared at Jared and let out a deep breath.  “We need to find out what happened to her.”

 

 

 

 

Morgan was on the case, though Jensen didn’t want to leave it at that.  Dannell hadn’t been seen since Jared had come to town though and Jensen had no idea what to look for or how to find her.     

They walked back through town to get home but when Jared tried to take Jensen the short way, Jensen steered them the other way. 

“Are you sure, Jensen?” Jared asked.  He knew where it would take them and he wanted to spare Jensen from it, however Jensen wanted to get this over with.

Jensen didn’t respond except to take Jared’s hand in his and keep walking. 

It wasn’t a long walk to the old house and Jensen was grateful for that.  It gave him less time to worry about what he would see.

Jared was tense beside him and neither of them spoke as they approached.  He heard laughter as they approached and Jensen had to stop to take a deep breath as he got his first view of his childhood home.  It looked more like it had then, when his mother had lived there and cared for it.  Two children ran across the front of the house towards the back and Katie sat on the front porch and watched Jensen’s approach with concern.

“Jensen?” She called his name but he backed away quickly.

“I can’t do this yet.”

Jared didn’t say anything, but when Jensen walked away from the house, Jared followed without a word.

That night the nightmares came again.  He dreamed of the cage and the men that had tried to claim him.  He dreamed of his father and his merciless need to control the pack.  He dreamed of Jared cleansing the pack by sweeping them all away, to replace them with all new suitors of his own.

When he woke from that one, not even Jared at his side could reassure him enough to help him sleep.

 

 

 

 

He didn’t sleep well but that just meant Jensen was determined to get something done the next day.  Jared had some business he needed to attend to and he’d left Jensen at home.  Jensen knew Jared expected him to stay there but after the others left to start their day, Jensen decided to head to the City Center to see what he could do. 

He was glad to be home, but he would go crazy fast if he didn’t keep himself occupied.  He didn’t know what else to do so when he got to the City Center, he walked along the front of the building and ended up in the school. 

He smiled as he saw Jim reading a story to the pack kids while Matt sat watching from the corner.  Jensen approached him and Matt offered the beta his hand.

“Beta, we didn’t get much of a chance to talk yesterday.  I wanted to say thank you for convincing Jim to come back to the Pack.  He’s an amazing teacher.”

“I’ve heard good things about the work you’ve done here as well,” Jensen confessed.  “So I thank you for that.  If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know.”

“There is one thing I’d like,” Matt said with a smile.  “Jim and I talked about asking you to come down so we could introduce you to our students.  How do you feel about an impromptu meet and greet?”

“Uh, sure.  Why not?”

They stood where they were until Jim finished reading the book and then Matt stepped forward.  “Teacher Beaver that was a great story.  Thank you for sharing it with us.”

Jensen watched the two talk back and forth for a few minutes.  It was interesting to see the way Matt focused on the emotional impact of the story while Jim talked about the themes and the literary devices. 

When they finished Jim started to dismiss the group but Matt stopped him.  “We actually have a surprise visitor,” he told Jim as he pointed towards Jensen at the back of the room.  Jim smiled openly at the Beta and Jensen knew it was genuine.

“Hello,” Jensen said as he waved at the students.

Jim took over then and Matt beckoned Jensen forward.

“Alright, anyone know who this is?”

“Beta!” a young girl in the front yelled out.

“Right, but hand up before you blurt answers out, correct Ms. Cassidy?”

“Sorry, Teacher.”

“Children, this is our Pack Beta, Jensen Ackles.  Jensen, this ragtag group of know-it-alls, are our students.”  There was a strong sense of affection between Jim and the students already and Jensen could see how he’d seamlessly connected with them.  Instead of compete for time, Jim and Matt seemed to weave their styles together to teach the same material at a different level for different students.  They were lucky to have them both there, for however long the arrangement lasted.

The students started to ask questions almost as soon as Jensen said hello.  Some he could answer, some he couldn’t, and some that were far too complicated for young minds.     

“What’s it like to be Pack Beta?” one of the youngest girls asked.  “Do you get to do whatever you want all the time?”

Jensen smiled as he laughed lightly.  “I’m afraid not.  Being in a pack means taking care of one another.  As Pack Beta it’s my job to make sure we’re all taken care of.”

“How do you do that?” the girl asked.

“I’m still working that part out.  You all know I’ve been gone a while, right?” They nodded and Jensen noted a couple of the older students who frowned at his words.  He needed to talk to Matt or Rob, maybe even Misha, to see if there was resentment for his departure from the other kids.  Colin had obvious reasons for his anger at Jensen’s departure, but he couldn’t help but wonder if there were others that had felt abandoned as well.

“Katie has been doing a really great job of taking a care of things for me while I was gone.  Now it’s time for me to figure out how to do that myself.  It might take me some time, and you all might have to help me a little, but we’ll manage.”

Another boy stuck his hand up in the air and Jensen called on him.  “Does that mean all the people that left the pack are gonna come back?”

Jensen looked up at Matt and the man’s face said everything Jensen needed to know.  Whoever the boy was referring to wouldn’t be back. 

“Sometimes, packs take care of each other and sometimes that means some people leave.  Sometimes members of the pack start to believe in living differently.  In our case, there were a lot of people that were hurting and Alpha Padalecki came to help them.  Some of the people who left needed to go to find a pack that lived the same way they wanted to,” he said.  He hoped it wasn’t true because the last thing Jensen wanted was to find out their pack throwaways had managed to land themselves in a new pack together.  It was the best he could offer a child though. 

“Alpha Padalecki is a favorite with our friends here,” Matt said as he interrupted before more questions could be asked.  Jensen was thankful for that.  He wasn’t sure how much more he could take of the innocent questions.  “He promised to come by next week to check in.  What do you say we get to work on the posters you wanted to make for him?”

Matt led them away from the library area and Jensen was left with Jim.

“You did good with them,” Jim said with a smile.

“I fumbled through it, anyway,” Jensen conceded.  “They really like Jared that much?”

“He lets the little ones treat him like a jungle gym, he shoots hoops with the older ones, and he apparently knows every Disney song on cue.  Some of the kids have a hard time with all the changes, but Jared has won them over.”

“And the ones he hasn’t?”

“Well, now that I’m here to teach, Matt can spend some time and focus on them a bit.  If they’re upset about the Alpha, there’s probably a deeper reason.”

“Like Colin.”

“Yeah.  How did no one know he was your brother?”

“At first my father wanted to make sure I was the uncontested heir to his pack.  Then when I presented as a beta, he made the others keep quiet about it until they presented.  He didn’t want anyone to know he had beta children.  When none were alphas though, he had no choice but to try to use my position to get someone he wanted in a position of power.”

“Speaking of your siblings, Chris stopped by earlier to see if you were here.  He said you should check in with him.  He might have a lead on your sister, Danneel.”

 

 

Jensen stopped by Chris’s office in the City Center once Matt told him where they were, but Chris wasn’t there.   Jensen went home instead and left a message to have Chris find him when he could.  He didn’t know much about what Jared and the others did day in and out but he knew Jared had been away for too long to just stay at home, no matter how much Jensen might like him too. 

When he got home, Colin was on the front step. 

“Colin, are you okay?”

Colin let out a snort at that but Jensen didn’t say anything.  Colin stared at him but didn’t speak a word.  Jensen let out a deep breath and took a seat beside the boy.  Jensen wasn’t a therapist but he had been threw some of the same things Colin had.  If the boy just needed an ear or a shoulder, Jensen could be it. 

They sat in silence for a long while and Jensen had to force himself to be still under the boys gaze.  Finally, Colin looked down at his hands and let out a shuddered breath.

“Are you okay, Colin?” Jensen asked again.

“Probably not,” Colin answered honestly. 

“Did you want to talk about something, or did you just need a place to go?”

“I just … I needed to see that you were really here.”

Jensen let out a deep breath and nodded.  “Alright then.  Let’s get inside and get something to drink.”

Colin followed Jensen in but he still didn’t speak.  He didn’t seem to have the aggression towards Jensen that he’d had the day before, but he wasn’t overly friendly either.  He stayed close to Jensen though and his eyes never left Jensen.

He poured two glasses of iced tea and took them to the table with Colin in tow. 

They drank the tea with nothing said between them.  Jensen had spent a long time in his cage, a place where words had no real meaning anymore.  Since he’d been freed, he’d relearned how to speak his mind, how to find comfort in them.  He wasn’t sure what to do with the uncomfortable silence with the boy.  He nearly sighed in relief when Colin spoke.

“I thought you’d abandoned us.  When the new alpha came, I thought he was worse than the old one and that you’d finally left us.”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said softly.  “If I had been able to explain, I would have.”

“If you’d have been able to explain, you wouldn’t have had to go.”

Jensen let out a short huff of a laugh.  “Guess that’s true.”

“Brock’s been telling me that for a while.  I never really understood until now.”

“And you understand now?”

“Some, I guess.  I used to sneak over into the woods and watch you in the cage.  I know the Alpha didn’t want me to see any of my siblings but I knew who you were.  Before I presented… my mom used to tell me about you.  I think she believed she could scare me into being an alpha.”

“Colin,” he didn’t know what to say to that admission though.

“It’s not like it worked.  I was born who I am.  I don’t like the new Alpha,” Colin said as he looked back at Jensen.    “I know what he did to you, when you came out of the cage.  I was in the woods that day.”

“Colin, you can’t hold what happened against Jared.”

“I watched him, waited for him to be more like our father, but Alpha Padalecki never did anything like that again.  He was … he was good to us.  Even when he exiled people from the pack he gave them a fair chance to get help.  I just couldn’t trust him because I didn’t understand.”

“It isn’t what you think.”

“I know.  Now.  I can see it.  It’s like Brock and me.”

Jensen inhaled sharply at the comparison but he knew that Colin was far more observant than he’d given him credit for. 

“Does the Alpha even know?”

It was Jensen’s turn to look down at his hands.  “No.  I didn’t figure it out for a long time and I couldn’t really confirm it until we were face to face again.  I don’t know that I want him to know either.  The relationship I have with Jared is … complicated.  But it’s good Colin.  I think together, Jared and I going to be really good.  If I tell him this, if I tell him I started the bond as a way to protect myself, he’ll never know that I want him because of who he is, and not because I was Pack Beta and I forced a bond on the only Alpha I had access to that wouldn’t send me back into a cage.”

“You’d rather he thought he forced the bond with a mating claim?”

“I don’t doubt Jared’s feelings for me and I never will.  I would rather Jared doubt the basis of the bond rather than doubt what I feel for him.  Given time, he’ll see that the bond is true and not protective.  If he knew I forced it, he would doubt my feelings and never see the bond for what it is.”

Colin nodded.  “There was no way to hide it from Brock.  He understood better than I did.  He … he didn’t get angry though.  He gets sad something over it, but I don’t think it’s because he’d stuck with a younger mate.”

“No, he’ll wait until your old enough to lay claim on.  I think he’s probably just upset that after everything they wanted to do for you, you bonded to protect yourself and not because it was the right time and place to do so.”

“The Alpha said he could press charges and ask the Council to have a specialist come and try to break the bond.  He said there were serious repercussions for what I did.”

“There are.  Most of which are mitigated by the circumstances and the young age you bonded at,” Jensen reassured him.

“That’s what he said too.  Brock begged him not to break the bond though.  He said it would have come in time anyway.  I keep holding onto that,” Colin said softly.  “That in time, he would have wanted to bond with me.”

“We were both lucky,” Jensen said as he offered Colin a small smile.  “Both alphas are good men.”

Jensen was about to say more when he stopped at the sound of a car in the driveway.  “Colin, do you know where Jared is today?”

“He was helping alpha Kane with something out in the woods.”

“Go find him.”

“What?” Colin looked around at Jensen’s words but then he seemed to hear what Jensen had.  “Jensen?”

“Tell Jared there is a strange alpha at the house.  Go now.”

“Yes, Beta.”

Colin ran out the back door before Jensen had to ask a second time.  He didn’t like the idea of sending Colin off on his own but he needed the boy away from the house in case something bad happened.  Once Jensen figured out who was there to visit, he’d call Jared and make sure the boy was safe.

He waited a moment before he went to the front door.  He heard a car door close and he took a deep breath as he stepped out the door and closed it firmly behind him.

The man that walked up to the house was an older gentleman.  He was dressed in a business suit and walked with a casual ease that spoke of power.  It raised Jensen’s hackles but he took a step forward to stand at the top of the porch stairs.  The alpha stopped at the bottom.

“Good afternoon, Alpha.  Is there something I can help you with?”

“I was told I could speak with Alpha Padalecki at this location.  May I come in?”

“No,” Jensen said quickly.  “I mean no offense but I will not let a strange Alpha into my home.  You can wait here for him, or you can go to the City Center where he has his formal offices.”

The Alpha smiled but there was no warmth there.  “So you’re Beta Ackles.  It’s hard not to recognize you from all the advertisements.  I’ve been constantly bombarded with pleas from the Beta Rights movement to make my donations today.  At least they picked a pretty face to look at on the way to the trash bin.”

“You don’t agree with the movement, Alpha…” Jensen asked.  He wanted to go inside and call Jared but he didn’t want to leave the unknown Alpha alone. 

 “Alpha Sheppard,” the Alpha gave his name. 

Jensen relaxed marginally because at least the Alpha was local.  He ran the Pack to the East of them.  It had a good reputation but Jensen didn’t know anything about the relationship between them and the Two Forks Pack.

“And whether I agree with the movement or not, I have business with your Alpha.”

“Then you probably should have called first, Mark,” Jared said as he came around the back of the house. 

Jensen let out a relieved breath as Jared stopped at the bottom of the stairs.  Jared looked up at him and Jensen could see that he was assessing him but Jensen just gave him a tight lipped smile. 

“It was a matter of importance.  I left a message with your office this morning and hadn’t heard back.  I decided while I was out this way that I would make the stop.  Forgive my intrusion.  Could we go inside and speak now?”

“Let me grab my keys and we can meet at my office in town.  I’m afraid that once we’re done I have other matters to attend to at the office and it would be better for all of us to take this there.  I’m sure your business can wait one or two more minutes?”

The other Alpha wasn’t happy about it but Jensen could tell Jared wasn’t going to budge.  When Alpha Sheppard got into his car, Jared came up the stairs and offered his hand to Jensen. 

“I’m okay, Jared,” Jensen said with a small laugh.  When Jared pulled him close, Jensen let Jared hold him close. 

It only lasted a moment but then Jared was in the house and had his keys.  “Come on.  There is something you need to take care of when we get to the office.”

“Is Colin okay?”

“Yeah.  He found me quickly.  Apparently he knows the woods pretty damn well.”

“I’m sorry about the Alpha.  He’s going to be upset with my hospitality but I didn’t want to let him into the house.  I know you’re still …” he paused because he wasn’t sure he should admit what he was thinking. 

“You’re right.  I wouldn’t have handled it well, to know an outside Alpha was in our home with you.  Not even Alpha Sheppard.  I should probably let everyone know the Alpha Residence is off limits to outsiders for a while.”

“Might be a good idea.  Now, what did you have for me to take care of?”

“Let’s see what Mark has to say, then we’ll tackle that.”

 

 

 

 

Jared asked Chris and Jensen to give him a moment alone with Alpha Sheppard once they got to the office and Jensen waited nervously for his alpha.  He tried to ask about the other business but Chris was tight lipped about it, no matter that he’d sought Jensen out about it earlier. 

When Jared came out to ask them to follow him back, he let Chris go first before he stopped Jensen.  “I know Alpha Sheppard can come off as harsh sometimes but he’s not fond of outsiders and he has little to do with people outside of his own Pack.”

“I’m aware, Jared.  I’ve lived in his pack all my life.  One of the reasons my father was able to keep continue his abuse.  Two traditional packs that had no ties with the outside, living side by side.”

“Do you blame him for what happened?”  Jared asked.

Jensen could see that Jared hadn’t considered it before.  “No, I don’t.  Alpha Sheppard was known for being tough on his pack, and they followed traditional pack models but he was never abusive to his people.  He would have stepped in if he’d known here.”

“I’m glad you think so.  I’ve spoken to him a few times and I’ve visited with his pack.  I’ve never seen anything out of line.  I don’t agree with his point of view in most things but that doesn’t make him a bad Alpha.”

“I know, and I’m not worried about working with him.”

Jared watched him for a moment before he nodded, then lead Jensen back to the offices.

Jensen knew where the Alpha’s office was.  He’d never been there to see the Alpha but he had visited the offices a few times as a child, when his mother needed to go in to speak to someone about pack business.  There was more laughter than he remembered.

When they entered Jared’s office, Jared had pulled a chair to the side of his desk for Jensen to sit at his side.  Chris stood by the door and Alpha Sheppard had taken a seat across from the desk where Jared sat.

“Now that we’re all here, what can I do for you Mark?” Jared asked.

The other Alpha crossed his hands over his lap as he spoke.  “A month ago one of my pack members saw something in the woods between our two packs.  He was a beta, prone to fancy, and no one thought anything of it at the time.  Since then though, we’ve lost two betas and an alpha.  There were traces of blood and we know someone is in the woods, but we haven’t been able to track it.”

“Have you gone to the Council yet?”

“The two betas had asked to leave for a few weeks and I declined their request.  I thought they had run away.  I was about to put word out to surrounding packs but then the alpha went missing.  When we tried to find him, we found blood.  I’m going to the Council with this, but I wanted to check with you and see if you had seen anything.”

“I have someone that has been hiding in the woods for the past week but she didn’t mention seeing anything,” Jared answered.

That was news to Jensen but he didn’t ask.  He wasn’t about to let the other Alpha know that he wasn’t up to speed with the running of the pack yet.  “We could also ask a member of the pack who likes to spend time in the woods.  He’s a young boy and I think he would have come forward if he’d seen something, there is a chance he saw something but didn’t understand the significance.”

The Alpha nodded his head to Jensen and Jensen returned it.  “I would appreciate it.”

“Was there anything else you needed to discuss?”

“No, I wanted to make sure you were aware of the situation.  I’m on my way to meet with the Council now.  Hopefully this is just a case of some runaways and a stupid alpha who got hurt and was too embarrassed to come home.”

“Hopefully,” Jared said as both Alphas stood.  “I’ll send you word if I hear anything about the woods.”

“I’ll keep you up to date.”

Jensen stood when Alpha Sheppard left but he didn’t offer his hand and the Alpha respected his space. 

 

 

 

 

 Jared walked him out and left Jensen with Chris.

“Chris, what’s going on?  That bit about someone in the woods?”

“Who were you talking about?”

“Colin,” Jensen said.  “He’s been sneaking around in the woods for years.”

“What is it with your siblings and those woods?”

“What?”

“Danneel.  We found her.  That’s who Jared was talking about.”

“You found Danneel?”

“Yeah.  She came home when she found out you were back, but Jensen, I don’t think she’s ready.”

“Where is she?”

Jared walked back in the room and Chris looked at Jared.  “He wants to go see her.”

“Of course he does.  And in the light of Mark’s trouble, I think we need to see her and see what she knows.”

“Alright,” Chris said.  “And I’ll go find Brock and bring Colin over.”

“Colin?”

“Ask Jensen,” Chris said as he walked out.

Jared looked at Jensen and Jensen shrugged.  “Colin is in the woods a lot.  Where is Danneel?”

“She’s with Rob.  Morgan brought Alona over to her.  Rob thought having her siblings close might calm her.”

“What happened to her?” He was afraid to find out but he knew it had to have been bad.

“I don’t know all of it.  She’s not too comfortable around alphas and I figured I should leave it to the professionals.”

“You are the professionals,” Jensen said with a shake of his head.

“Yeah, well, I picked you in the draw so you’re stuck with me.”

Jensen laughed as he got up and let Chris lead him out of the offices.  The medical center was a few buildings down and Jensen let Chris walk him there in silence.  They bypassed the white walled reception areas until they were in heading back to the therapist’s rooms. 

“Jensen, I don’t know how she’s gonna react to you.  She said she came back when she heard you had, but we have no idea where she’s been or if she’s had any help.”

“And you’re worried because of the way Colin responded.”

“Yeah,” Chris said with a sad smile.  “You don’t have to go in there.  You don’t owe anyone in this pack anything.”

“Don’t I?” Jensen asked.  “You think I don’t owe you and Jared?  Katie or Matt?  All of you who came to help Jared put this pack back together when he called?  You think I don’t owe my own pack the chance to try to be a pack again?”

Chris shook his head.  “No, you don’t.  I’m not saying I don’t want to see it happen, but you don’t have to do any of this.”

“I have to do it for myself Chris.”

Chris smiled then.  “That’s what I needed to hear.”

“I hate you,” Jensen sighed.

“You love me Jensen.  No one else would call you on your bullshit.”

Jensen smacked him in the arm but he laughed as they walked to Rob’s office.  Chris didn’t hesitate to open the door and Jensen found himself in a small reception area.  Chris waved at the woman behind the desk but he pulled Jensen back towards a room in the back. 

Jensen could feel three alphas in the room before they opened the door but there were three betas as well.  He didn’t know what to think of the numbers.  When he’d first started therapy he had never been in a room with an alpha.  Chris always walked him there and back, but he was never in the room with him.  Chris took care to make sure he was never unprotected but that he had plenty of space. 

He took a deep breath and nodded to Chris.  When the alpha opened the door Jensen stepped in.

She had long dark hair that hung in wet strings down her back.  The clothes she wore were baggy and ill fitted but they were clean.  She smelled like soap and anxiety and Jensen nearly wept at the sight of her.

“Dani,” he whispered.

She looked up at him and threw herself across the room at him.  No one moved to get in her way and Jensen had an arm full of his sobbing little sister.  He held her close and stroked her hair and just held her tight.  When someone approached, he looked up and saw Alona press in close behind Danneel. 

He hadn’t seen Alona yet but he could see she’d grown harder over the years.  Too hard for the young woman she was, but there was a strength in her that Jensen couldn’t help but admire. 

“She came home for you,” Alona said softly.  “She said if you were strong enough to return, she could be no less.”

He closed his eyes because he wasn’t some model for good behavior.  He was no one to emulate.  He felt another beta come close and he smiled to see Colin join them.  Dani’s breathing calmed down and Jensen slowly lowered them to the ground.  He could feel the way her body trembled and she didn’t say a word before she fell asleep in his arms. 

He looked up at Jared but he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to ask.

“Colin told Brock there was someone in the woods,” Morgan began to speak.  “We found Danneel this morning and Jared had us searching he woods for any signs of how long she’d been there or where she’d come from.  I’ve still got men looking but…”

Jensen looked at Jared when Morgan faltered. 

“We might have found something else out there.  There’s a cave way out, closer to Mark’s pack than ours but it looks like someone has been living there.  It doesn’t smell like Danneel though.”

“You think it might be the person that’s been grabbing Mark’s people?”

“Maybe they crossed paths?  We don’t know.  It’s speculation but we’re searching the words for sign of the other person and any indication of where your sister came from.”

“Danneel was always good at hiding,” Alona said softly.  “If she didn’t want to be found, she wasn’t.”

Morgan crouched down and looked at Alona with concern.  “You said she took the brunt of your mother’s attacks.  If she was so good at hiding-“

“She never hid,” Alona said softly and she continued to run soothing hands over Danneel’s back.  “She hid me.  She stayed where they could find her so that they didn’t look for me.”

For the first time, Jensen saw something behind the gruff exterior Morgan showed.  He saw a little more of the man and a little less of the alpha and he was grateful, once again, that Jared had so many amazing people to work with his pack.

“Jensen, let’s get her up on the couch,” Rob said.  “None of you will be too comfortable for long like that.  You can keep holding her, if you’d like.”

Jensen let out a deep breath and sighed.  He nodded his approval and then Chris gently took Danneel from his arms and carried her over to the couch.  He laid her gently on the seat and Jensen sat on the floor next to her head.

“She must really be tired to sleep through that,” Colin said as he took a seat on the floor at her feet.

“She’s exhausted and half starved,” Rob said.  “She wouldn’t speak when she first got here so we took care of what we could.  No one seemed to know who she was, but she hid behind her hair until Morgan brought Alona down to see if she could identify her.  She hasn’t let Alona out of her sight since.”

“She protected you?” Jensen asked Alona.

“We lived next door and she could see what was happening to me.  She made sure she was the target.  If she needs to keep me close, I’m happy to do what I can.”

Jensen nodded at her response.  “We’ll all do what we can for her.”  When he looked at Colin and then back at Alona, he nodded again and looked up at Jared.  “For all of us.”

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t easy.  Jensen still couldn’t walk past his old house.  Danneel kept close to Alona, which made Morgan uncomfortable but Jensen had already seen that Morgan had a protective streak a mile wide when it came to Alona.  He wondered if there was something between them, but it would be a long time before Alona was ready for something like that.  Her guilt ate at her, the times she’d hid when Danneel took the beatings that were meant for her, but Jared’s people were good at what they did and the pack slowly tried to heal.

No one knew where Danneel had been.  They spoke with Alpha Sheppard twice more, but he didn’t recognize Danneel and after conferring with his pack, no one there had seen her either.  She might have left the packs all together, or lived on her own, but she wouldn’t speak about it and no one pressed her too hard.  Jensen mentioned from time to time that if they had treated her well, they’d like to say thank you.  She didn’t react to the words and Jensen couldn’t read her responses well.   As protective as Jensen felt towards his half-siblings, he’d been too far gone to know them well. 

Colin had made progress though.  Once he knew that Jensen was safe and that he hadn’t been taken against his will, he began to open up to the others.  He didn’t laugh as much as a boy his age should, but the tension that had radiated from his body was no longer there and Brock laughed often.  Jensen took the young man’s moods as evidence of Colin’s. 

The seasons brought a warm summer to them and Misha and Rob decided a village-wide party was in order.  It had been a long time since they’d been able to celebrate anything but Rob thought it would do the pack some good and Misha agreed.  Misha spent more time in the woods with Sheppard’s pack tracking whatever it was that was out there than he did with the Jensen’s pack most days, but he’d still been unable to catch whatever was out there.  It had been good for ties with Sheppard’s pack though so Jared had invited the Alpha in to the celebration. 

He came with a handful of his own people, the ones that had visited from time to time with Misha.  It was a smart move and Jensen appreciated that Sheppard was sensitive to the abuse that had happened in their pack.  While his people weren’t Two Forks Pack, they were at least known and less likely to cause trouble for Jensen and the others who had been hurt.

The evening had turned late and a barbeque had been set up behind the amphitheater.  Dinner was over but the smell filled the air and Jensen relaxed against Jared’s side.  He’d only been home a month but he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else now.  Some days were harder than others, but he was happy. 

Chris was on a stool in the middle of the stage with Rob and a few of their friends.  The music was upbeat and fun but not too rowdy.  Children danced around the stage and Jensen could see Matt and Jim dancing along with their students, though Matt’s dancing seemed to be more of the make a fool of himself variety. 

“You better be careful, Jared,” Katie said from beside Jensen.  “Looks like your team is growing some roots.” 

There was something smug in her voice and Jensen looked over at her.  Her eyes were on her children as they danced around the fire.  As a slower song picked up, Jensen was only a little surprised to see Morgan lead Alona to the side and dance with her. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Jensen asked.

Jared let out a deep sigh.  “I used to think so.  We move around a lot to help people but we’re more than a team.  With the things we’ve faced together, we’re a family.  So when we’re working and a visit takes longer than we thought it would, there isn’t this need to get home, to get us back to the people in our lives.  Because we pretty much revolve around each other.  If we had something like this, I was afraid we’d start to get sloppy.  We’d want to be home instead of wherever we needed to be and we’d rush the work.”

“And now?” Jensen sat up as he looked at Jared. 

Jared shook his head.  “Eventually, we’ll get the call that will tell us we’re needed somewhere else, and we’ll have to trust that the work we’ve done here is enough.  I’ll have to trust my Beta to run the pack while I’m gone.  And as much as I know I’ll miss being here, being home, what we’ve done here, having this to come home to, will make me try that much harder to help others.  I don’t think calling the Two Forks Pack home will make us less effective of a team.  I think, maybe, it will make us even better.”

“Does that mean Misha’s request will be heard?” Katie asked.

Jared looked at Katie, then looked at Jensen.  “Misha wants to petition the Alpha and Beta to let the team join the Two Forks Pack.  All of them.”

“Did you expect less than that when you became the Alpha?”

“They all have a home somewhere Jensen.  We’ve never lived side by side.  It just feels like it when we’re here working together,” he said.  “Misha hasn’t asked yet but he’d hinted a few times.  I think he was waiting until I was in a favorable mood to bring it up.”

“You know they would be welcome here,” Jensen said.

Jared smiled.  “I know.  I just … I guess I was still wrapping my mind around the fact that I have a home now.  I never really thought about what my settling down would do to the team.”

Before Jensen could answer, Jared sat up straight.  “Smoke?”

A second later Jensen could smell it as well.  It wasn’t the fire from the barbeque either.  Across the street from the amphitheater, the buildings that made up the city center glowed with the light of flames.  Homes on either side began to catch before the fire trucks had even arrived.

Jared and Jensen did their best to keep people calm and out of the way of the fire fighters but people that lived close by were near to panic.  It put Jared and all his people to work just to get things under control.

Sheppard and his people helped control the crowd but they were outsiders and they worked best to keep people pushed back away from the fire trucks and the work they needed to do.

Jensen moved constantly among his pack to try to calm people.  Thankfully there were some level heads, but too many people were suspicious of the fire so close to the celebration and Jensen could only tell them they’d find out how it happened when the fire department was done.

Chris handed Jensen a bottle of water and ordered him to drink it before he was off and on his way with more water for the people that wouldn’t leave the area.  Jensen took a deep breath then sat down at the side of a building.  He needed a few minutes to breathe without having to worry about what people saw in his face.  He broke the seal of his water bottle and began to drink.  He was nearly halfway through the bottle when he felt someone approach.  He stiffened up but not in time to see the needle as it hit his arm.

“What?” he turned to see his father in front of him.

“Time to go, Beta,” the man said. 

Jensen struggled when the alpha grabbed his arm but the drug had already taken affect and he felt like a weak child.  His father dragged him behind the house and then the world went black.

 

 

 

Jensen woke at home.  It wasn’t the Alpha residence but it wasn’t quite his home either.  It was Katie’s home and Jensen had never been inside it.  He knew this room though, knew it better than any place he’d ever been. 

The old wallpaper had been taken down and the walls were painted sage green.  New paintings hung on the wall, but Jensen could remember tearing everything down from the walls.  He remembered clawing at them and tearing at anything he could get his hands on. 

This was the room his father had put him in each time he went into heat.  It was the same room Jared had thrown him into after he got him out of the cage.

He had bloodied every alpha who thought to take him, beat them until they relented each and every cycle.  Jared had been the only one to claim him, to take the torture of his heat and turn it into a claim to become the Alpha of the Two Forks Pack.

Jensen let out a deep breath to try to calm himself but he backed into the corner and hid behind a desk and office chair.  He wanted to lash out but he had no idea what to expect.  His father.  His father had come back for him.  It couldn’t be a coincidence, Jensen’s return, the missing alpha and betas from Sheppard’s pack.  The fire. 

His father was there.  He couldn’t force someone to claim Jensen any longer though and Jensen couldn’t think of any reason his father would bring him back to this place.  Jensen couldn’t give him what he wanted.  Not anymore. 

The door of the room opened and Jensen crouched lower.  He was torn between standing to face his father and cowering but instinct won out and Jensen had always been able to face off against his attackers, except the one. 

“You’ve made my life a living hell, Jensen,” his father said as he closed the door behind him.  His voice was calm and reasonable but there was madness in his eyes and Jensen pressed back against the wall as far as he could.

“After everything I gave you, you were never able to bend your neck.  You never gave your Alpha the submission that he deserved.  I asked only that you consider my choice of suitors to lead the pack next, but you rejected every one of them.”

“You brought them into this room when I was in heat and told them to rape me.  It’s not exactly the way a real Alpha should treat his betas,” Jensen said.  He tried to keep the same calm voice with the alpha but his voice trembled.  It had been a long time since Jensen had been able to speak out against the alpha in person.

“So, the alpha let you have your tongue back and you have as little respect now as you did when I forced your silence.”

“What do you want?” Jensen demanded.

“I want my pack back!” His father yelled.

Jensen didn’t say anything but he watched the man warily. 

“I finally figured out what happened, Jensen.  I never understood why my children all disappointed me.  Why was every one of them a beta?  At first I thought it was because the women I chose to bear my children were not worthy.  Then I realized my mistake.  When Padalecki took you, I realized it was because you were meant to be mine, all along.”

“What?”

“I didn’t realize just what your rebellious streak was, Jensen.  I didn’t know how strong you really were.  I tried to break you, but it never worked.  You weren’t meant to be broken by me.  You were meant to be by my side.  And when you produced an alpha with one of the women, it would be our heir.”

“I would never let that happen,” Jensen was horrified at the idea.  Not just what his father meant by being at his side, but at the thought of letting his monster of a father anywhere near a child.  This was the madness Jensen had seen though. 

He stood then, pushed away from the wall and let himself reach his full height.  His father had never seen it and Jensen saw a moment of doubt creep into his father’s eyes.  “I’m not yours and I never will be.  You’re a monster and I could never follow you.  I know what a real Alpha should be like and it is nothing like you.  You should run, now, while you can.  Jared will figure out where I am, and he’ll come.”

His father smiled.  “Oh, I know.  That was the plan.  After all, the pack can’t have two Alphas and the only way to defeat that boy is the old fashioned way.”

“No.”

“I will kill him, then I will have you and the rest of this pack.”

Jensen growled in the back of his throat and his father smiled.  “Oh, do you think you have teeth now, Beta?  Do you think you can stop me from destroying this fake alpha?”

“He is MY Alpha,” Jensen yelled.  “He is my mate.  I won’t let you hurt him.”

His father’s smile grew and he started to laugh.  “So you think this alpha is your mate?  You think you mean anything more to him than a way to steal my pack from me?”

“He won this pack when you lost the challenge.  He had no need to get it from me.”

“Except the Council he answers too respects the traditional ways of the packs.  A challenger to the alpha can be overridden by the Beta’s choice in our pack.  That has always been our law.  The will of the Beta can change the Alpha of the pack.”

“No, Jared never wanted a pack.”

“Didn’t he?  He’s an alpha who spent years traveling from place to place.  You don’t think he wanted to set down roots?  Don’t think he wanted that for his own people?  You don’t think he kept his eye on the places he’d been to, looking for a place that he could set his own people up in places of power to take over?  Make himself Alpha, put his people in the places within the law, the schools, the medical staff?”

Jensen knew Jared wasn’t like that.  Jared hadn’t wanted this.  He hadn’t wanted a pack, especially one as broken as this one was.

“It’s what I did.  He even moved a pretty little beta into town.  You didn’t really think he claimed you and sent you away, to stay celibate?   How many of the brats living in your mother’s house do you think are his?  And that claim he made, how often has he renewed that claim, boy?  Just enough to keep it, I’d bet.”

“Stop,” Jensen ordered.  His father took a step closer and Jensen held his breath. 

“Never.  I’ll be a good Alpha for you, Jensen.  The cage was only needed until you bent your neck to me.  Now you will and you’ll be able to take your place with me.”

His father took another step forward and he watched his teeth elongate and his claws came out.  “Don’t.  You’re my father.  You know this is wrong.”

His father sprang forward and grabbed Jensen by the neck.  He pinned Jensen to the back wall but Jensen had been in that position before.  He brought his arms down hard on his father’s elbows and his father lost his grip.  Jensen slashed out with his hand, his own claws leaving blood across his father’s arm in their wake.

Jensen used his father’s surprise to push past him but his father grabbed his arm and spun him into the side wall.  He didn’t have a hold of Jensen but he was still between him and the door. 

“When did you grow claws, Beta?” his father asked.

“You never bothered to look at them did you?  The alphas that lost to me?  You never paid enough attention to realized that you gave me claws when you kept sending rapists to me.”

“Rapists, were they?  Then what do you call that Alpha of yours?”

“None of your concern,” Jensen answered.  What had happened between he and Jared walked a fine line between consent and non-consenting but it had been on both sides.  Neither of them had wanted what happened.

“That’s rich, boy.  You’ll defend the one that let you out of the cage.  Stockholm syndrome, maybe?”

“Shut up!” Jensen yelled as he sprang at his father.  He clawed at the man’s stomach but his father moved out of the path and used Jensen’s momentum to trip him onto the floor.  Jensen scrambled to all four and back to the corner again before his father could get another attack. 

The man began to approach slowly and Jensen grabbed the chair and threw it at the alpha.  He deflected it with his arm and snarled at Jensen.  A vase was on the desk and Jensen threw it at the alpha to watch it shatter at his feet when he swept it away.

“Stop playing these tricks, beta,” the alpha demanded.

The alpha took a step forward and Jensen screamed.  It was nothing but rage and hate, no words and no thought.  The alpha wanted to claim him and Jensen would never allow it.  He would rather die before he submitted to the man. 

The door behind them crashed open and Jensen felt the second alpha in the room.  He snarled as he backed as far away from them as he could.  His father turned his back to Jensen and took on the challenger.  The other alpha was bigger than his father and stronger, a fighter and every bit as capable as his father would want an heir to be. 

The Alpha struck against his father and Jensen watched as he fell to the floor.  He swept his foot as he landed though and the Alpha fell back at the unexpected move.  The other alpha grabbed his neck and Jensen could smell blood.

It wasn’t like the other times though.  This wasn’t some strange alpha come to take him, come to claim him and claim their place as Alpha.  This was his mate, his Alpha.   No matter what words his father spat at him, no matter what doubts had started in his head years ago.  The Alpha had earned Jensen’s respect, and his love.  He’d earned it with years of patience and understanding, with the work he’d done with his pack and the way he’d given Jensen what he needed, even when he didn’t always know himself what that was. 

Jared was his Alpha, by choice, and Jensen would choose him again and again.

He launched himself from the corner and tackled his father away from the Alpha.  His father roared but Jensen clawed at the man’s face before his father got his feet up and kicked Jensen off him. 

Jared was there then and he’d pinned Jensen’s father to the floor.  The man tried to kick out but Jared had more leverage and when the man bucked up Jared’s grip just tightened on his throat. 

“You don’t get to do this again,” Jared growled.

Jensen could hear the alpha’s bloody gurgles as he tried to breathe through the bloody mess Jared had made of his throat but Jared never let go. 

“He will always be mine,” his father managed to gasp out.

“Never,” Jared said as he ended it all.  One large slash of his claws and Jensen’s father bled out on the floor of the room where Jensen had bled so many others in. 

Jensen watched his father for signs of life, but Jared kept hold of him, kept his hand against the alpha’s body just in case.  He didn’t move again and Jensen could see the way Jared took in deep breaths to reel himself in.

Jensen scrambled back as he realized just what had happened.  As he realized his father was dead and Jared had killed the man who had tormented him for most of his life.  Jensen had his father’s blood on his hands, on his clothes, and he didn’t want Jared to see that.  He didn’t want his Alpha to see what the other man had done to him. 

Jensen began to stand and Jared turned to look at him.  Jensen flinched away, hid back in the corner because there was no place else to go, nowhere that Jared wouldn’t see the blood.  Jared’s eyes widened and he stared at Jensen.  He looked Jensen’s body over and Jensen was nearly shaking with the fear that Jared wouldn’t want him with all the blood that had covered him.  That killing Jensen’s father and having that blood on both their hands would be the thing that finally broke Jared’s desire to be his mate.

Jared took a step towards Jensen, his mouth open but no sound came.  A noise behind them had Jared growl as he turned.  It was Chris and Morgan and behind them Jensen could hear more of Jared’s team.

“Take care of him,” Jared said to Chris.  He looked at Morgan then and looked back at the body.  “He attacked my Beta,” Jared said.  “He tried to lay claim on his own son.  I had no choice.”

“Of course not,” Morgan said as he looked at the body.  When Morgan held Jared’s eye for a moment, the Alpha nodded, then left the room.

Chris approached Jensen slowly and Jensen let out a deep breath as his friend got closer.  Chris was familiar in ways that the rest of Jared’s team wasn’t. 

“Jensen?”

He nodded.  He wasn’t sure he had the words right then. 

“Jensen, let’s get you out of here.”

“You think seeing my father dead will upset me, Chris?  You think that will turn me feral again?” he asked with a bitter laugh.  “Do you have any idea how many alphas have bled out in this room?  Any idea how many times I’ve lived this before?”

“Don’t think it will make you feral, Jensen, but that doesn’t mean you should have to stay in this room right now.  Let me get you over to the clinic so they can check you out.”

“I’m fine.”

“You know I’m a worry wart.  Let me have you checked over.  Besides, your Alpha will want to know you’re okay when he’d done making sure everyone else is okay.”

Jensen let out a bitter laugh because he doubted Jared would care one way or another.  Jared had finally decided that Jensen wasn’t worth what he’d been through.  Seeing Jensen covered in his father’s blood, he’d run the other way and Jensen didn’t think he’d ever see him again.

He didn’t think Chris would be able to see that though, so when the alpha offered him a hand up, Jensen let himself be pulled from the floor.

He looked down at his father one last time and took a deep breath.

“Jensen?”

“He doesn’t deserve burial on pack lands.  Make sure he isn’t.”

He walked away with Chris on his heels, but with his back straight and his head held high.  Jared wouldn’t be back, but he’d left Jensen and he wouldn’t fail his mate, even if he didn’t want him anymore.

 

 

          

 

 

Jensen stared out across the back yard took a deep breath before he slowly let it out.  It’d been a rough month.  Hell, it’d been a rough life, but Jensen was finally settling into being the Pack Beta.  The upside of that was that his pack trusted him because he understood what they’d been through.  The downside was that there was still no sign of his wayward Alpha. 

A month since Jared had saved Jensen from his father.  A month since Jensen had flinched away from him for fear that his Alpha wouldn’t want him covered in the old alpha’s blood.  A month since Jared had misunderstood and run, afraid that he’d somehow damaged Jensen.

Jensen understood that now.  In the moment, he’d thought Jared had run from him but he’d had time to get a better perspective and Jensen knew Jared had run for fear of himself.  It had been the same after Jared had gone after the reporter that had gotten too close to Jensen.  Knowing Jensen’s past, Jared feared Jensen wouldn’t accept him because of his alpha nature. 

Jensen heard the door behind him and watched as Katie and Chris walked in, the rest of Jared’s people behind them as they settled around the Alpha’s kitchen table.  It was Jared’s ritual and one that Jensen enjoyed so he’d kept it. 

Today it served a purpose.

When Jensen walked up to the table they all seemed to sense his urgency.

“Where is he, Chris?”

Chris looked at the others but Jensen stopped him.

“No.  I’m done waiting.  Jared has had a month to come home and he’s hiding.  I’m done with it.  If he thinks he left a damaged Beta behind who isn’t strong enough to know his own mind, then it’s time I dissuade him of the notion.  Where is he?”

“He went home,” Rob answered.  “Not the movement, but the home he grew up in.  It’s only two hours’ drive.”

When the others looked at him Rob shrugged.  “Morale.  No one is happy without the Alpha here, especially if the Beta isn’t happy without the Alpha here.  Jensen’s right.  Jared ran because he thought Jensen would hate him.  Jared needs to get his ass back here and Jensen is the only one that he’ll listen to.”

 

 

He was on the road in less than 45 minutes.  He’d have been quicker but Katie refused to let him go before he ate with them.  While he ate, Chris packed his bag and Katie packed lunch to send for both of them to eat together. 

Jensen was grateful for them all and when he drove off he knew his pack was in good hands until he returned.

The drive seemed to take forever but Jensen let the feel of the road sooth him.  He didn’t get to drive often and he enjoyed the freedom he had behind the wheel.  He’d never talked to anyone about it.  Maybe when they got this all figured out, he and Jared could take a couple road trips just to be on the road together.

The address he’d been given had him pull into a modest sized home in a sleepy town.  It was less isolated from the world than Two Forks but it still had a small town feel.  When Jensen stopped the car there was no sign of Jared.

He left everything in the car and went to the front door.  It was unlocked and Jensen just went in.  The place was well kept and Jensen understood that.  No matter what had happened, Jared wouldn’t let himself fall to pieces completely. 

It would be in big chunks though.  Jared probably slept for days and only got up for the occasional trip to the bathroom or kitchen, where he neatly did his business, then shut himself off again.

He went up the main stairs and followed the hall back.  He found two bedrooms and a study before he approached the master bedroom.

Jared was asleep on top of the bed, a towel slung low over his hips, like he’d fallen asleep straight out of the shower. 

Jensen let out a sigh and stripped out of his own clothes and slid into bed beside Jared.

When Jared opened his eyes, he blinked quickly and focused on Jensen.  “Jensen?  What are you doing here?”

“I came to get you.  You didn’t think I was going to let you get away, did you?”

“Jensen, what I did…”

“You saved me Jared.  Again.  For years you have been saving me.  How could you not understand what that means to me?”

“You were afraid of me.”

“I was afraid of you Jared, but not because you killed him.  I thought you finally hated me for what you’d been made to do.  For the fight where you challenged him in the first place, for taking a mate when you never would have, for becoming Pack Alpha when you thought it would hurt you and your team.  For years of cleaning up a mess that wasn’t yours.  I though you finally saw that it was my fault and you hated me for it.”

“I could never hate you,” Jared reassured him.

“I know.  It took me a little time to remember that but you ran.  I thought you’d come home to me but then the pack helped me realize why you’d actually run.  I gave you a little more time, but then I realized you were too stubborn for that to work.  So I came to you.  Jared, it’s time to come home.”

“Jensen-”

“No.  It’s time to come home Jared.  I love you.  You’re my mate, and I’m done playing this game.  You’re my alpha and it’s time for us to go home.  Together.”

“Together?  “You can really love me, after everything I’ve been?”

“Jared, after everything I was, everything I’ve been, you’ve been at my side.  When I couldn’t even be in the same room with you, you were still at my side.  What I was before, you made it possible for me to be more.  You made it possible for me to be a person again.  I’m strong because you believed.  I’m happy because you loved me.  I’m whole because you let me stand on my own.”

“You really do love me,” Jared said in awe.

“Come home Alpha, and let me show you just how much.”

Jared leaned in and kissed him gently before he let out a small laugh.  “Love you so much, Beta.  Since the day I saw you.”

“So you’ll come home with me?”

“Yeah.  It’s time to go home.”

 

      

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the spn_j2_bigbang challenge this year. I was thrilled to be working with liliaeth again for this! We've worked on a few projects together now and she was, as always, amazing to work with! Thank you so much to my wonderful artist as well as the the Mods of this challenge for making this happen! I look forward to this one every year! Please go check out the art at the [ Master Art Post](http://liliaeth.livejournal.com/493339.html)


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